UNPLANNED | namjoon ✔️

19 - unwell

"I'm sorry for not saying something," Jimin murmured a little lower, so Nari wouldn't catch it. "I just figured, with everything going on..."

Your stomach sank even further. You'd been so absorbed in Namjoon, and Taehyung, and whatever else, that you hadn't even had time to check in with your friends and see what they were up to. You felt, if anything, worse than before, despite this wonderful news.

"Don't worry," you waved Jimin's apology away, pushing down your emotions. "I'm so happy for you both, really. We'll have to celebrate soon. But for now I'd better get Nari home."

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?" Jimin squeezed your hand, and you smiled sadly back. 

"I'll be okay, don't worry," you replied. 

And yet it was becoming more and more difficult to hide how much Namjoon's absence was affecting you. Nari, being the intelligent young girl she had always been, had picked up on only the third day after your fight that something was wrong.

"Wanna see Namoonie," she proclaimed one day before school, as she spooned yoghurt into her mouth with the shaky precision of a toddler.

"I know, sweetheart," you replied. "Namjoon is very busy at the moment."

She eyed you, and for a startling moment you could have sworn she saw right through you - that she knew exactly what had happened between you and Namjoon - but it passed after a few seconds.

"I love Namoonie, Eomma," she replied, so innocently that it felt like a puncture wound over your heart.

"Me too," you admitted in a whisper. "Me too, sweetheart. Let's hope he'll be back soon, hm?"

And then you'd had to turn to the sink, pretending to wash dishes, so that she wouldn't see you cry.

But he hadn't been back soon. That conversation with Nari had taken place nearly a month ago now, and in the meantime, there had been no word from Namjoon. He said he wanted to give you space, and it seemed like he was truly dedicated to making that happen.

You, on the other hand, didn't want space. Having just realised the true extent of your feelings for him, you wanted to be next to him, close to him, with his gaze on you and his arms around you and his mouth pressed to yours.

The absence of him made you feel physically sick. You slept little, and ate even less, finding you had no appetite and yet still felt nauseous. You knew that you were falling behind at work and at home, the apartment becoming messier as you struggled to keep up with the demands of being a single parent. It was now, more than ever, that you realised exactly how much Namjoon did for you and for Nari, when you were having to shoulder it all alone. Many times, you thought about how good it would feel to go to bed and not wake up for a few days.

But you had a daughter to take care of. Nari came first, and so you kept going, kept working and cooking and cleaning and playing and everything else, so tired now that you didn't even really notice the exhaustion until you stopped for a moment one day and the world spun, having to sit down and press your palms into your eyes to bring your vision back.

And on top of all of this, there was the matter of Taehyung.

You had agreed, over the phone with him, that he could meet his daughter as long as you were there too. There was no secrecy with Nari because you had already introduced Taehyung to her as her father, seeing as he was on TV so often, and Nari was able to recognise his face easily. This made explaining to her why he was coming over a little easier - but she was still uncertain.

"You're my Appa?" she asked, gazing up at him when he arrived at your apartment the first day.

Taehyung swallowed, and nodded down at her. "Yes, I am."