UNPLANNED | namjoon ✔️

8 - undergo

❁ CHAPTER 8 ❁

UNDERGO

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"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," you wailed, clenching your teeth together and glaring daggers at Namjoon as you gripped the back of the couch.

His koala-like eyes widened at you as he gathered things from around his parents house, darting about and knocking over nearly everything in his path. A lamp went flying, crashing to the ground, as he pulled out your emergency labour bag.

"Me?! Why me? I didn't knock you up, woman!" he protested, out of breath and clearly panicking.

"You're a man," you hissed out through gritted teeth as another contraction hit you. "That's bad enoU-UUUUGH, JOONIE!"

"Okay, calm. Stay calm. Everyone stay calm," Namjoon was muttering now, though you had a feeling he was mainly talking to himself. "Everything is going to be... fine. Just fine. Just... calm, calm is the way forwar-"

"Kim Namjoon, so help me Jesus, if you don't stop chanting mantras and get me to a hospital right now I'm going to chop your dick off and put it in a blender!" you screeched, the pain so blinding that insults seemed to be the only thing that made you feel better. This one seemed to do the trick, because finally Namjoon was ushering you out the door and into his car and you were off.

Regardless of your insults, Namjoon had been a lifesaver during the past seven months. He had gone with you to talk to his parents, who had been only too happy to have you move in with them and Namjoon. At first you had objected to staying after the baby was born; but Mrs. Kim was so excited to have a baby in the house, that you gave in in the end. 

Of course, a large part of this was to do with the enormous amount of help you would need. You had joined Jimin back at university, retraining as a teacher, but the work was hard and paid very little for the first year or so. On top of this, Taehyung, despite his constant promises of being there and supporting you and being at the birth, was yet to show any real signs of commitment due to what he called a 'demanding audition schedule'. Namjoon had been particularly huffy when you had relayed that information to him after a phone call with Taehyung.

And so, it was Namjoon who went instead, holding your hand and smiling at the fuzzy image on the ultrasound machine. He was the one who went with you to find out the sex of the baby, watching the smile that crept across your face as the doctor told you it was a girl. On the nights you came home too tired to even think, it was Namjoon who sat beside you and tested you, or helped you plan your lessons. 

You found that you loved teaching more than you thought you would. Being pregnant and around children made you happy, and you liked being able to impart your knowledge on others. Since finding out you were having a girl, you'd been tracing a hand over your growing belly at night, trying to picture your daughter. The more you did this, the more attached to motherhood you became. It was growing on you surprisingly quickly.

And yet despite this, there was still a deep ache that sat on your chest, especially when you overheard Namjoon gushing to his parents about how much he was enjoying his new job. He never did it in front of you, but sometimes you heard him talking about it late at night when he thought you were asleep, and let the tears roll down your cheeks, warm and sorrowful.

All your life, you had been a high achiever. Self-sufficient, smart, and capable. And now, you were facing something that required you to be all of those things and a whole lot more, with no room for failure.