Mark clubs the best golfer ever

The front 9

Mark clubs (the best golfer in the world) unzipped the marquees flap and kicked it open with sort of gusto you get from being the best in the world at something, he walked to the foot of the isle, the ceremony had begun, the officiant raised their hands "you may now kiss the bride"
he was right on time. He dropped a golfball to his foot pulled a very nice driving club from the back of his satchel and with a twist of his hips, and a swing of the arms, launched it right between the lips of the very very newly-weds just as they where about to connect faces lovingly, it landed perfectly between their pursed lips, their mouths holding it between the couple for a moment. Their eyes closed, it took them a fraction of a second to realize the only lips they where feeling on their mouth where their own, they stepped back in surprise at the goofball that had come between them and the ball clattered to the floor rolling into the isle where it stopped where someone hadn't thrown their confetti very well and it had all clumped together. Mark rested the driver on his shoulder and triumphantly said "objection your honor", a beat passed, all eyes rested on him, the best man said "what the hell!?"
This triggered everyone else to vocalize their opinions on the current situation, the groom lacking originality also exclaimed "what the hell?!"
The bride said "is that your ex-boyfriend Caroline?"
Caroline stepped forward from the other bridesmaids fuming "what are you doing Mark?"
"I'm crashing the wedding to win you back!"
The bride frowned "but it's not her wedding it ours,"
"Yeah but she's in love with Darren" mark pointed to the groom
Derek corrected mark "it's Derek."
The bride rasped "what?" To Derek then turned Caroline and yelled "what!"
"Yeah last night when she got drunk at a hen doo she left me a voice mail saying she wants to get back together because the guy she liked is marrying her best friend" he pointed at Derek
"Stop pointing at me, Bridget I don't know what this golfer is talking about"
"Caroline what is he talking about?" Bridget prodded
Caroline's teeth where clenched "I was drunk, and I told him this morning, I don't like him or him" she pointed to Derek "and not to do anything."
The best man said "he has done something."
Mark piped up trying to win back the room"yes I crashed the wedding as a romantic gesture, to show how much I care."
"Why would I want this?"
"Because you love him."
"I don't."
"Because you love me?"
"I don't!"
Derek stepped back in to the conversation , his shock and confusion changing more into classic confusion "so you ruined my wedding to try and get me with Caroline, so Caroline would like you?"
"It was a declaration of love, look Darren, I play golf do you?"
"..."
"In golf you hit a really big hit first and then you figure out the putting latter, I stop you from getting married, you get with Caroline, you marry Caroline I crash that wedding, boom happy couple, in 2 strokes baby!"
Bridget's shock and confusion had turned much the other way from her very very new husband and now had a tinge of rage "this was the best day ever and now it's the worst and you think those two would cancel each other out and make it just an OK day, but they don't, it's just ruined, you all ruined it for me!"
She sat down at the alter in a huff.
"Even me?" Mark asked.
"Yes obviously you! I hate you!"
Mark looked around at the wedding guest to see if anyone was gonna stand up for him after this bride whose wedding he just crashed had been a bit mean to him, they just looked back at him, this lack of action from the guests was, in Marks mind, why they where not the best in the world at anything. He would have to deal with this himself.
"Sorry it's nothing to do with you, I just needed to stop you getting married."
"We already got married! We already got pronounced! " Bridget screamed
"You didn't sign the papers." Mark mumbled
"Shut up, shut up!"
The bride grabbed a bouquet and throw it at Mark, luckily a hopeful bride-to-be leap from he seat and yanked it from the air before it could even come close to hitting him. Mark was seeing some negativity from the bride he really didn't need right now.
"Sorry again, but, could you chill I'm just trying to win back Caroline?" he turned to his love "I did it for you."
Mark turned to see Caroline was unexpectedly just as angry with his gesture of love, and was now red in the face and he eyes halfway out of her head as if they were ready to strangle him, "just leave, Mark, just leave"
"Ok, meet you in the parking lot?"
"No mark. Leave."
"Okay"
Mark took one more look around the crowd one more time to see if any of these underachievers where gonna stick up for a romantic in need, nobody did anything. he started slowly walking out hands above his head palms out to be all apologetic.
"Go on leave."
Mark moved slower.
"Leave!"
Mark halted and looked sadly around one last time, blinking a lot to try to make himself cry.
"Are you trying to make yourself cry?"
"No."
"Just go."
"Oh ok, see when you love me."
"Not happening."
"Ugh fine."
Matt Clubs slammed the marquees flap close and stormed out. He got in his cart, and drove off.