Fuck It I Love You

15

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Three hours have passed, and it's eleven o'clock in the evening. I've sat in silence for the most part and have only just put on a movie on my laptop, when I hear a light knock on my door. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, wondering who on earth would want to check in at this time, and I walk over to the door slowly, grabbing the door handle and opening it to reveal Joseph. The breath hitches in my throat as my eyes involuntarily rake over his body, taking him in. He's wearing a pair of grey sweats and a plain black top which fits him perfectly. He clears his throat, which rips me out of my thoughts and my eyes fly back to his.

"Yes?" I squeak and he gives me a soft smile, folding his arms over his chest and leaning on the door frame.

"I came to check on you and Ava." He says softly, and I stupidly blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Ava isn't here." He narrows his eyes and looks past me, looking around the room. His eyes momentarily land in my bed before he looks at me again.

"Where is she?"

"She's in our other friend's room." I lie and his eyes relax. "She's a girl so don't worry." He nods slowly as the words leave my mouth and he clicks his tongue, pointing at the laptop on my bed.

"What you watching?" he asks, holding my gaze until I look away, clearing my throat.

"That? Oh, I'm just watching a film." I see the corners of his mouth tug up, and he leans forward.

"I know, that's why I'm asking what you are watching." He whispers and I raise my eyebrows.

"Oh, shit sorry. I'm watching, um, Tangled." I whisper the last word and he furrows his brows in confusion.

"I'm sorry, did you just say you're watching Tangled?" I can hear him trying not to laugh and I go bright red, nodding slowly.

"Yes. What about it?" He lets out a small laugh.

"Nothing. Just didn't take you for a Disney girl. You seem more..." he looks at me up and down, is eyes narrowing. "Like a Guy Ritchie type of girl." He finishes his sentence, and my eyes widen in shock, and I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.

"He's actually my favourite director. Love Snatch." He steps back in surprise and his mouth opens.

"I've not seen that one." He says quietly, subtly making eye contact with me. I look at him for a moment, hesitating before opening the door wider.

"Want to watch it?" I ask quietly. I'm not trying to intend anything, I'm just very shocked he hasn't seen it yet. I see him pause and look around, bouncing on the balls of his feet while shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I don't know, Jane..." I roll my eyes and throw my head back.

"I didn't mean it like that, Joseph. Just accept the invite and fucking watch it." I see him hesitate as he runs a hand through his hair, before he finally walks past me and into my room, placing himself on my bed as I close the door. I walk slowly over to him, my palms growing sweaty, and I place myself next to him, but as far away as possible. I clear my throat and grab my laptop, feeling his eyes on me as I put on Snatch. I place the laptop in between us, and I watch the screen, refusing to look at the boy beside me. Twenty minutes pass before words are spoken between us.

"Jane?" I mumble in response, to show that I'm listening, so he shifts a bit closer to me and I stiffen. "I want to apologise." He says flatly and I turn to look at him with a confused expression, only to find him much closer than I anticipated.

"For what?" He clicks his tongue again, licking his lips.

"For the museum." He says quietly, his gaze falling to my mouth, and I feel my throat dry and my heart hammering inside my chest.

"It's okay." I say quietly, but he shakes his head and shuffles away, looking at his hands in his lap.

"It's not, Jane. I am your teacher, and you are my student. It was..." he pauses and lets out a breathly laugh. "I shouldn't have done it." He rubs his face and shuts the laptop, standing up abruptly. "I shouldn't be here." He says curtly and turns around, storming towards the door. I throw myself out of bed and run after him, grabbing his arm before he can reach it. I yank him back and he crashes into me, grabbing my arms to steady me.

"Don't go." I whisper and I see his chest rise and fall quickly. I grab his hand, attempting to lead him back to the bed but he groans and pulls me back, grabbing my face with his hands. He stares at me for a moment before his intrusive thought win, and he runs his thumb over my lip and my breath quickens when he rips it away, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Jane, please..." he's breathless just as much as I am.

"Joseph. Watch the film." I whisper attempting to grab his arm, but he grabs my wrist, spinning me around and slamming me against the wall, his hot breath on my neck. I gasp in surprise as his lips trace the curve of my neck and up to my jaw, before stopping my mouth, and stills.

"I cannot be held accountable for my actions, if I kiss you, sweetheart." Instinct takes over and I grab his face with my hands, rubbing my fingers over his perfectly sculptured face. I have no idea what's gotten into me. But I honestly couldn't care less, I'm too lost in him.

"Please." I say breathlessly, attempting to bring him closer. There's a moment where nothing happens, then, all of a sudden, I hear him let out a strangled moan as he grips the back of my neck and slams his lips to mine.

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