Just Friends

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I rolled away from Eddie, desperate to quiet my nerves. I needed to remember that I hated him. He was Eddie Munson. He was embarrassed by Smellie Fisher. He broke my heart.

I shook my head, annoyed with myself. Who was I kidding? I didn't hate this Eddie. This Eddie had worked so hard to break down the walls I had made impenetrable. This Eddie saved me from Eric and made me laugh when we drank together. If I hated this Eddie, I would have made him walk home.

We were friends. We were just friends! Nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't be betraying Ellie by being his friend. She would have done anything to be his friend. I took in a deep breath and finally settled. Eddie's hand was still on my waist, and it no longer felt as heavy as it had before. His thumb was tracing my side gently and it made my heart skip if I thought too hard about it. So, I didn't. I took a deep breath.

I had finally calmed my nerves and had successfully started to drift off. I was aware of Eddie's presence right behind me, but I had relaxed. Friends do this. Friends have sleepovers. Nick had spent the night plenty of times after drinking too much with me.

Granted, Nick had a boyfriend, and I would barely call Eddie and I friends, but I kept telling myself that we were to make this normal. We were friends. We were just friends!

I started the dream that had gotten less repetitive since I first started having it, but that still continued to plague me.

A set of arms snaked around me, pulling me close to the body behind me. I smiled when he buried his face into the crook of my neck, brushing my hair out of his way and delicately setting his lips against the pulse in my neck. He took a deep breath in and squeezed me tight, and I almost felt like I was actually out of breath for a moment.

"You smell so good, Belle," Eddie whispered. Dream Eddie didn't normally follow this script – this one tonight was different. I tried to will that thought away and wiggled closer to him, enjoying the change in my dream.

Eddie pressed his lips to my ear, making me shudder.

"I don't think you hate me as much as you wish you did, Belle," he said quietly. I felt a wave of confusion. My dreams never referenced the hatred I had tried so hard to lean into when I was around him, and that was becoming harder and harder to lean into. I blinked my eyes open and felt my body heat when I finally realized it.

This wasn't one of my dreams.

---

I had tried to hold myself back, had tried not push too hard with Elle.

But I watched her figure, illuminated by the moonlight spilling through her window. Her breathing was soft and slow, and she didn't flinch away from me once I started tracing her side with my thumb. I edged closer, trying to get any kind of fix that I could. But once I smelled her perfume and shampoo – light floral smells that had plagued me for the weeks I had known her, had made me desperate to have it hang around me in any capacity – I was done for.

Before I could stop myself, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. I was thrilled when she leaned into me, giving me better access to her neck. I set my face in it, taking her scent and warmth in. I squeezed her tight to me, my heart almost stopping when she hummed happily.

"You smell so good, Belle," I murmured against her neck, desperate to kiss it. She didn't tell me to fuck off or stop touching her like I expected, she instead scooted closer to me, pressing her back to my chest and making my head spin. I really decided to push my luck, unbelieving with how well my impulsive decision making had gone.

I took another deep breath in and pressed my lips to her ear.

"I don't think you hate me as much as you wish you did, Belle," I teased lowly. I felt her tense in my arms and panicked. Had my luck run out?

"This isn't a dream," she said quietly. It almost sounded like a question, but one that she was asking herself. "This isn't a dream."

"Dream come true for me," I flirted, pushing my luck. She stayed motionless in my arms. I needed to not spook her. I needed to make sure I scare her off.

But then I got another whiff of her shampoo, and I couldn't.

---

Eddie started leaving love bites along my neck, making my face hot and head dizzy. He pulled me even tighter to him, and I gasped as he nipped at my earlobe. I felt him smile into my neck and melted further into him.

"Told you that you didn't hate me," he whispered. I felt a flash of anger that was quickly dissipated when he kissed my cheek softly. This was so different than that first time. So much sweeter and gentler.

I took a deep breath in and turned in his arms, finally facing him. He wasted no time in moving to the front of my neck, nipping at it and making my heart skip.

"We're friends," I said shakily, trying to convince myself of something.

"Of course, we are," he replied, moving one of his hands under my thighs and pulling my leg around him. I moved without thinking, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him tighter.

"Do, I don't, Eddie, I don't think friends do this," I gasped, my body feeling electric as he continued to leave love bruises along my neck. He pulled back and smirked at me.

"If they don't, they should," he quipped. I hated how handsome he was. I hated what his touch did to me. I hated that I knew that I couldn't stop myself from giving in.

"Just friends," I insisted, unsure of who I was trying to convince. He leaned close, his lips ghosting mine.

"Just friends," he whispered, repeating himself and not truly convincing me. I felt like my chest was about to explode. He started kissing my face softly and slowly, making me melt under his touch. He kissed me everywhere by my lips.

Fuck this.

I laced my fingers in his hair and pressed my lips to his, getting lost in him and repeating the phrase "just friends" in my mind over and over and over again. 

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