Yes

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He dreamed about her that night. It had been a surprisingly long time, all things considered. They were sitting side by side on a bench in the pouring rain, and though the situation felt painfully familiar, it wasn't quite a memory. This rain was cold. It soaked through his hair and his clothes, soaked right through his skin and everything beneath it, slowly filling him up inside like a glass of water chilled just short of freezing.

She was warm. He wasn't touching her, but she was close enough that he could tell. He could feel it radiating from skin. He wanted to touch her, needed to touch her, but every time he tried to take her hand, it was just out of reach. Close enough to feel her body heat, but too far away to touch. The physics of this made perfect sense to him. Every time he tried and failed, he felt foolish. How silly of him to have thought such a thing could be possible. But he kept trying.

"No," she said, and he realized that he had asked her a question, but he couldn't remember what it was.

So he asked her another.

"No," she said.

But he'd already forgotten that question, too.

He tried again.

"No," she said.

Nothing.

He thought of another question, this time concentrating as hard as he could, repeating it to himself over and over in his head as he waited for her reply.

"No," she said.

It was already gone. Growing frustrated, he reached for her hand, but it was too far away. He felt foolish. How silly of him.

"No," she said, and he realized that he had asked her a question, but he couldn't remember what it was.

He was so cold. He couldn't shiver, couldn't do anything to warm himself at all as the frigid water rose higher and higher in his chest. She was warm. He wanted so badly to touch her. Everything would be okay if he could only touch her.

"No," she said, and he realized that he had asked her a question, but he couldn't remember what it was.

He reached for her again, reached and reached, stretching his arm until he could feel his shoulder on the verge of dislocating. Further, further, a little further, just a little bit further-

Barely, just barely, the very tips of his fingers grazed her skin, and he jerked back with a hiss of pain. He cradled his hand, feeling the blisters already forming, as if he'd held it until against a hot stove. "Is it bigger than a breadbox?" he asked.

She turned her head and looked into his face sadly.

"Yes," she said, and he woke up.



Gasping, Ben bolted upright and grabbed for his hand. Finding no burns, he felt more confusion than relief. The unfamiliar darkness surrounding him offered no sense of time and place, and for a few seconds, the sensation of cold sweat and the deafening thud of his own heartbeat were the only things tethering him to any sense of reality.

It was more instinct than choice that made him reach for his phone. Hands shaking, he dialed the number without even thinking about it. To his surprise, it only rang once before a somewhat panicky voice answered.

"Ben! It's the middle of the night! What's going on? Where are you? Are you hurt? Do you need me to come get you?"

The feeling of disorientation began to fade almost at once, and he became quickly embarrassed. "No, I'm not hurt. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called so late."

"What's wrong? You sound upset. Are you sick? I can come get you. Do you need me to come get you?"

"No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm okay. It's stupid. I just-" His voice broke. "I had a nightmare."

"Oh, no. It must have been a bad one to have you so shaken up. Do you want to tell me about it?"

"No. No, I barely even remember it. I don't know. I just... I just wanted to hear your voice." His pulse had slowed, but his voice was still trembling. "I miss you."

"Oh, Benny, I miss you, too."

"I'm really sorry I woke you up."

"Quit apologizing, sweetheart. You know I'm always happy to hear from you. Do you want me to stay on the line with you until you fall back asleep?"

"Yes, please." He finally laid back down, curling up on his side with his phone pressed against his ear. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not. It's okay. I'm right here."

Sniffling, he closed his eyes. "Thank you," he said in a raspy whisper. "You're the best mom in the entire world."

"I know, honey."

"Really. I mean it."

"I know."

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