𝕷𝖊𝖙 𝕸𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖄𝖔𝖚...

# CHAPTER 48 #

Lan Wangji's first morning in the Burial Mounds begins peacefully. In fact, it was by far the best awakening he has had for a month, perhaps much longer. The stone bench that passed for a bed was far from comfortable, but Wei Wuxian lies warm in his arms, and morning light reached through the cave doorway with curious colorless fingers. It took Lan Wangji a moment to place himself, and another to remember why he felt so relaxed. The sex probably had something to do with it—he had lain with nobody since the brief hours that he and Wei Wuxian were able to snatch in before the misfortunes happened in their lives—but more, he thinks, it was what they decided yesterday.

He would stay here, where the work was true and important and he knew what was right. He would wake each morning just like this, uncaring of the rough stone and mildewed straw because Wei Wuxian slept beside him. They would be together, and they would protect the people who need it.

For a few minutes, he just watched Wei Wuxian's sleeping face. The expression on it is slightly fretful; Lan Wangji resisted pressing away the tiny wrinkle between his eyes, then realized that there is no reason not to. He touched his forefinger to the spot and smoothed out the skin.

Wei Wuxian's expression eased, but he did not wake. He was also, Lan Wangji realized, lying far stiller than he usually did; even at rest, he almost always tossed and fidgeted, as if his brilliant boundless energy could not be contained by something so mundane as sleep. The only exceptions, in Lan Wangji's admittedly limited experience, were when Wei Wuxian was unconscious rather than properly sleeping. Lan Wangji immediately remembered Wei Wuxian's use of resentful energy. It harms the body and the temperament, came the old lesson in his memory.

Lan Wangji shook Wei Wuxian, "Wei Ying." There was no response. "Wei Ying," he repeated, voice sharpening with concern. "Wei Ying, wake up." He rested two fingers against the spot on Wei Wuxian's forehead that he touched before. It burnt warm against his skin. Resentful energy harmed the body.

When he emerged from the cave, Wen Qing straightened up from the nearest radish patch and smirked at him. "I take it you two had a good night." She catched his expression, then, and was moving toward the cave entrance before he could manage to speak. "Tell me."

"Fever," Lan Wangji said, glad that he did not need to explain. "I could not wake him up."

"Ah, fuck," Wen Qing muttered. "I knew I should have checked him properly yesterday, I was just so distracted. My fault."

Lan Wangji shook his head. "Mine as well. I have seen the effects resentful energy has on him, but I did not think of it."

It was intensely comforting to watch Wen Qing bend over the bed and check Wei Wuxian's still form with brisk professional hands. "Good morning, you unspeakable idiot," she murmured. "Decided to make life more difficult for everyone again, hm?" She glanced at Lan Wangji. "I need to get my kit. He had a stomach wound from last month that I'll need to look at; can you take off his—oh, fuck, you don't know about..." She eyed him warily. "Hang on, you were with him all night. Uh. Did he...say anything surprising?"

"He has no golden core," Lan Wangji said, and Wen Qing relaxed. "He said he lost it during the war," he added. "I knew that he was lying and I am waiting to hear it until he is ready to tell me the truth."

"Right, excellent," she said. "That makes everything much easier. Go on, then. I'll be right back."

Wei Wuxian did not stir as Lan Wangi peeled back his robes, leaving him bare to the waist "There is nothing left of you." Lan Wangji murmured to himself looking at the fragile body of his beloved. He had not noticed yesterday—had not been looking, during daylight, and had been too distracted when he was close enough to feel—how thin Wei Wuxian had grown. It should not be as easy as it is to lift and resettle him on the bed. Awake, that constant intense energy gave Wei Wuxian the impression of health and strength, but with it gone he looked terribly small and fragile. Lan Wangji did not know whether it was his imagination, but he could almost see the emptiness where previously the brilliance of Wei Wuxian's core lit him from within. In the increasing light from the cave entrance, shadows showed between his ribs as they rise and fall. Lan Wangji ran a careful finger along the delicate line of his jaw, willing him to smile and turn into the touch, but Wei Wuxian stayed motionless.

He did not move his hand at the sounds of Wen Qing returning. The prospect of denying his feelings for Wei Wuxian seemed suddenly repulsive; he felt a rush of shame at the thought of the months and years that they have spent keeping their touches to the shadows.

Wen Qing set her basket of supplies on the end of the bed and said, more gently than Lan Wangji expected, "He'll be all right." Lan Wangji did not speak an answer, but she must have read one in his expression because the look she gave him had her usual sharpness. "I happen to be extremely good at my job," she said crisply. Then, sounding somehow softer and fiercer at once, "He is very important to all of us here, and he just gave me back my brother. He will be all right."

Lan Wangji too hoped that Wen Qing's words would come true and to his utter happiness, Wei Wuxian woke up later, looking better than before.

Lan Wangji blamed himself for putting Wei Wuxian in this condition. If he had not lost his golden cure, then Wei Wuxian would not have had to transplant his golden core. He could have been sound and healthy.

Lan Wangji swore to himself that he would not hive up on Wei Wuxian again in his life and that he would protect him with all his might.