The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

XLIX: 15 March, 1994

"Remus, I don't want to alarm you with what I'm about to say, so I'm going to just out and say it, all right, then?"

Remus paused, a chair midway across the room to its matching desk. "Alright... What is it?"

"I think Sirius Black is staying on the grounds of Hogwarts." She paused for dramatic effect. Then, "As Snuffles."

Remus stared at her. Several long beats passed. He seemed to have paled slightly at the words. Then he turned sharply, grabbing the chair from mid-air and lowered it to the floor, pushing it into the desk where it belonged carefully, adverting his eyes from hers.

"I know you're using this pause to think, Remus, I know you are. What're you thinking? You don't seem even half as shocked as I thought you might."

Remus looked up. "How do you know about Snuffles?" His voice shook.

Tonks counter-questioned, "Do you reckon that's how he's getting into the castle undetected?"

"I know it is," Remus replied, and he stood upright, walking 'round the row of desks and up to the front where she stood. He lowered his voice, "I've seen him, Dora. I've talked to him. Several times. He --" Remus paused. "He claims he didn't do it."

"Of course he didn't do it, Remus," Tonks said as though that had always been obvious. She wriggled excitedly.

"We don't know that," Remus said cautiously.

"Of course Sirius didn't do it." She paused, and then even greater surprise came upon her face. "Merlin's ghost, you didn't actually believe --? Not you. Surely not... I --" Tonks was incredulous. She searched his eyes a long moment, then gasped. "Remus, how could you?"

"I didn't want to, of course, blimey, don't look at me like that --"

"Like what?"

"Like you're disappointed in me for believing what everyone else on the planet told me happened!" he said, "You were only a child, you don't remember --"

"Excuse me, I was old enough to remember, I'm not THAT young.... I was nine!"

"Nine!" Remus shook his head, laughing and turned away.

"You were married!" she choked the words out, "Remus! Married! How could you, of all people, doubt him?"

Remus ran his hands over his face. "I -- I didn't know what to believe anymore by that point. There was so much going on and -- Dumbledore said -- everyone said..."

Tonks stared at his back. "But you knew him better than anyone else, didn't you?"

Remus stared at his feet. "Once, I did. By that point... I didn't know what I knew about anybody anymore..." he shook his head. "It was a horribly isolating time, Nym--"

"Don't call me --"

"I'm sorry! Tonks! It was a horribly isolating time, Tonks."

Tonks stared at her wand, laying across her lap. Then she looked up, "You talked to him?"

"He's come to me nearly every full moon since his escape."

Tonks's eyes softened. "Bloody hell that's beautiful."

Remus shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn't dare to weigh in. He felt sick and ashamed and stupid and unsettled. He felt guilty.

"There's no evidence toward any other answer in the world," Remus murmured under his breath, "Except the one the world has given."

"Sirius being who he is is evidence, isn't it?" Tonks asked. "Isn't the fact that he's Sirius Black enough?"

"Rather that's precisely the reason a lot of people say that it shouldn't have been a shock to anyone," Remus said.