Dark Saint [Romano Brotherhood, #1]

30 | Nina

That feeling worsens when Santo turns to me, jerking his head towards the door. "Go."

I can physically feel the blood drain from my face, disbelief and shock rolling into a dense ball in my throat that's hard to swallow. 

There's no mistaking it—he's angry. At me. Like it's my fault I heard what Mantus just said. And despite knowing it isn't, that feeling of being unwanted rears its ugly head and all I want is to leave. 

But bowing my head and letting him dismiss me like some kind of disobedient dog isn't something I'd ever do, so I open my mouth—to say what, I don't even know. I've never demanded answers and I'm not going to start now, but it's not like that matters, because his slow, threatening head shake freezes any and every utterance in my throat. 

With just one word and a shake of his head, he's managed me to feel as small as an ant. Anger broils beneath the hurt—at him and at myself for letting him make me feel that way—and the anger will take a front seat later, but frustratingly, the hurt is what wins out first. 

Nobody around us seems to know what to do, and that makes it worse. 

"Did you not hear what I just said?"

Leah inhales sharply at his question, and that seems to set the rest of the world in motion. "Don't speak to her like that," she snaps. 

Oh, God. 

Santo levels her with a glare so dark she takes a step back, and Samuel is immediately scowling at him while my jaw finally unhinges and regains the ability to form words. 

"Don't," I say, and everyone fucking stares at me in shock. My face flares but I keep going. "Don't do that. You brought me here. You don't get to do that."

Okay, turns out the anger might be coming out now. I don't like the way he tried to intimidate Leah. But I can see him physically shutting down, his vision tunneling to that one goal—shutting me out. 

"This was a mistake," he says lowly. 

Tommaso steps forward, grimacing. "Sant—"

"No."

Tommaso's jaw clenches, and he's still for a second. He levels me with an apologetic look, and it's clear he can't do anything else. I would never expect him to. I don't expect his brothers' involvement; in fact, them being here and witnessing this makes me want to curl into a ball and hide.

Massimo steps forward. "Nina, would you like to stay?"

I can see Santo's head snap to his brother in my peripheral, but I'm too frozen in shock to even look at him. Massimo is waiting calmly for my answer. 

"No," I decide, proud when my voice comes out strong. "Not anymore. I'd very much like to leave."

"Tommaso, Nico, and Leah will go with you," he orders, and Leah grabs my hand as we head toward the door. 

I don't look at Santo, not once, and my mind is racing as I leave behind the man who has always confounded me but never, not until this moment, made me feel so small.

+

The hot tub has become a therapeutic place for me. The heat and steam stifle just enough of the shitshow that's going on in my head, and I'm able to just be.

The jets hum and I close my eyes, the air thick enough with steam that it's a little difficult to breathe. I turned up the heat, wanting it to come close to burning me. After reassuring Leah that I would be okay, she finally went home. She was reluctant, clearly thinking I shouldn't be alone, but that's exactly what I need.