conscious love- the sequel to automatic love- an obx jiara love story

chapter 17.

"it's okay" sarah repeats for about the tenth time as she strokes kie's hair.

it's been a whole week since she walked in on freya and jj and she hasn't left her bed. the bed she used to share with him.

the only question running through her head over and over is 'how could he do this to me?'

sarah continues to stoke her hair, and she tries to focus on that. but it takes her back to a memory that she had completely forgotten...

"mom!" the brunette girl cries as she runs in the house.

"hey, hey what's wrong baby?" anna says as her daughter throws her arms around her.

"daniel cheated on me with rachel! but then he said he didn't mean it and wants me back!" 11 year old kie cries.

"oh, baby, it's okay" anna says as she strokes her daughter's hair.

"why would he do this to me? am i not good enough?" kie cries.

"no, no, no, you're perfect hunny, you're perfect, he's just a dumbass" anna says as she continues to stroke her hair. "listen baby, you're so young. you have plenty of time to find your true love. you can do better than daniel, okay? don't beat yourself up over it"

"but i really like him, mom. he said he won't do it again-"

"no, kie. you won't heal by going back to what broke you. you're so so young, you can find someone i'm the future. it'll be okay" anna says as kisses kie's head.
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she jumps up and runs to the bathroom, throwing up in the sink.

sarah follows her, pulling her hair up into a bun as kie wipes her mouth.

"i can't, sarah. i can't do this without him" she cries.

sarah doesn't say anything. she just frowns and sighs. she's really in the middle here. she doesn't want to tell her to go back to him, because she could and probably would just get her heart broken again, but she doesn't want to tell her not to go back, because that's her brother and his heart will be broken.

"i don't know what to tell you. maybe talk to him?" she says.

"i just.. don't get it. he said he loves me, but i watched them kiss. their lips touched. that is cheating. so if he loves me, why did he cheat?" kie says.

"like i said kie, i don't know. i can't give you the answers to these questions. but he can" she says.

kie nods. "you're right" she hesitates for a moment before coming to a decision. "i'm gonna talk to him"
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"i still don't understand" john b says. "she kissed you and kie walked in?"

"yes, but it was forced, like, she kissed me as she walked in, by the time i pulled back she was there and saw it all. she knew what she was doing. and now kie thinks i was into it and she's heartbroken. i love her guys and i think i've lost her" jj says as he finishes his can of beer.

"then tell her that?" pope says.

"she won't talk to me!" jj says.

"maybe she will" john b says, pointing to behind him.

jj furrows his eyebrows as he looks behind him. his face softens when his eyes meet kie's. he stands up as she steps closer to them.

"kie.. hey.." he starts.

"can we talk?" she says.

"yeah- yeah yeah yeah" he says, standing up and tossing his beer can on the floor.

he follows her inside while sarah sits where jj was sat.

"freya isn't here?" sarah says.

"she hasn't been since the other night. her and jj had a huge argument and they both said a bunch of shit. jj told her to leave and never come back into his life because she ruined everything, and she actually has" john b says.

jj and kie walk into the chateau.

"kie, i really need to tell you one thing" he says.

she turns to face him and signals for him to talk.

"it wasn't what it looked like.. she forcefully kissed me just as you came through the door. she knew what she was doing. i pushed her away but obviously you had already seen. i am so so sorry and i really do love you. i understand if you want nothing to do with me but i just needed you to know i would never cheat on you" he says.

she stays quiet.

"i don't know, jj. my mom once told me, 'you won't heal by going back to what broke you'" she says. "but you didn't really break me, freya did, i guess. but this has affected my trust a lot. how do i know you aren't just blaming her because i caught you?" she says.

"i- i can't prove it, to you... but i'm telling the truth. i know that doesn't mean much to you right now but there's nothing else i can say" he says.

she nods.

"i don't expect you to forgive me. i just want you to know that i'd never do this to you. i'm sorry, and i love you" he says.

"i don't know what i'm gonna do" she says. shrugging her shoulders.

he nods as he sniffles. "if you change your mind, you know where i am" he says, walking out of the door.
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a few days later:

"jj, there's someone at the door for you!!" john b calls.

he furrows his eyebrows. "for me?"

he gets up out of the spare room bed in the chateau where he has been staying since the breakup.

"are you jj maybank?" a woman says.

"uhm, yeah?" he says.

"oh, thank goodness. i've been searching for you for days!" she says.

"why..?" he says, dragging out the 'w'

"i'm sorry to tell you, your grandmother passed away recently" she says.

"what? i didn't even know i had a grandmother" he says, scratching the back of his neck.

"it was your father's mother" she says.

"oh, makes sense that i never knew about her. he told me his parents were dead. he was full of shit" he says.

"well, you were her only living relative now that your father's dead, so you get all her inheritance" she says.

"oh, really?" he says.

"yeah. that's, a house, and a... large, amount of money" she says.

"how much are we talking?" he says.

"50 thousand" she says.

"dollars!?" he says.

"uhm.. yes.." she says, furrowing her eyebrows.

"for me?" he says.

"yes. now, there's obviously paperwork you'll need to sign at your convenience-"

"now!" he cuts her off.

"sorry, i mean, yeah... i can do that right now" he says.

"okay" she says.
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(1136 words)

darn, why do i do this to poor kiara?

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