1.2 | Firecracker

xi | wave

this is not funny

you have no right to seenzone me you asshole

speak. NOW.

i'm going to murder you when i see you

fuckinf reply to my texts

hey

i'm sorry

it's been a bad week

the fuck happened to you?

are you okay?

are you alive?

of course you're alive but why aren't you your usual annoying boastful self?

my ex

she passed away

i'm not okay, jaan

*INCOMING CALL FROM FIRECRACKER*

"Talk to me, Veer."

"I was so worried, you have no idea."

"I was so close to coming to your office and demanding to know where the fuck you were!"

"Fuck, firecracker. This wasn't how I imagined hearing your voice for the first time."

"I didn’t think you would be so worried."

"Of course, I was worried you asshole."

"My ex... Liyana. I dated her briefly in college. After I came back from my sister's place, I got a call. She died in a car accident."

"I'm so sorry, Veer."

"No one expected it. Everyone loved her. She was a good person. So many of them flew in to attend her funeral. It was very unfortunate that we all got to see each other this way."

"That's so messed up."

"Did you, um, did you love her?"

"Not enough."

"My Dad... he always told me that I will know it when I find love, that my gut will say it. He said it happened to him with Mom. That man is extremely positive about everything and he likes to think everything happens for a reason. He believes in fate and destiny and I thought it was a load of crap."

"I mean I can't expect everything to just fall into my hands, right? I have to work for something as well. Otherwise, the whole point of life is defeated."

"When I met Liyana, I knew she was the most attractive girl in class. I knew that every other guy in my class was preparing himself to ask her out."

"But in a few days, I could see that she had a crush on me. Everyone saw it."

"She was kind and brilliant. Very polite and respectful. I didn't see a reason not to fall in love with her. I didn't see a reason why this couldn't be something more. I had a feeling we could work."

"Did you ask her out?"

"Yeah. We dated for eight months."

"Why did you guys break up?"

"I wasn't crazy for her."

"What do you mean?"

"I loved her, yes, but it didn't make me want to drop everything and run to her every time her smile dropped. It didn't make me want to do something crazy like my dad did for my mom by buying that sunflower farm. It didn't make me feel like I couldn't breathe when she wasn't near. There was no spark, no banter, no chance to see each other’s ugly sides and still smile like an idiot when someone mentioned her name. It didn't make me feel alive."

"And apparently, she felt it too and we decided to break up. We were better off as friends but it was too awkward to stay friends when you've been... you know... intimate."

"I understand."

"I didn't see her since we graduated. Until now."

"I'm sorry, Veer."

"Is there anything I could do to help?"

"You're already helping me, firecracker."

"Has anyone told you that your voice feels like a hug?"

"You're the first one."

"Well, it's true. I'm going to call you every day just to hear your voice."

"So you can get free hugs?"

"Maybe."

"But thanks for calling me, firecracker. It means a fucking lot to me."

"I'm here for you too, you know. Faster than Google can ever come to your help."

"I know."

"Veer?"

"Yes, jaan?"

"You said you thought what your dad said was a load of crap. Does that mean you don't think it now?"

"No, I don't. I've felt it now. That gut feeling my dad was talking about."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm trying to fall for her gradually, in healthy doses, but I can't help it. Every time I think of her, I fall harder. Hopelessly like a fucking fool. And the best part is that I love it."