Strings of Fate

47- Primitive Instincts

You decided to settle on the edge of the porch and Yoongi sat down next to you. Yoongi didn't speak and you were grateful for that.

You had told Hobi that you preferred sunsets to sunrises, and that was true, but there was something so peaceful about a world just waking up. You loved the sweet chirps of birds as they said their good mornings and planned their days or talked with the little ones confined to their nests.

"I was never allowed outside on my own, obviously," You didn't look at Yoongi as you spoke, "I had a window, but it didn't open and they would lock my door at night. Some mornings, Mireu would come and get me early and we would sit like this. I still don't know why. We wouldn't talk, we would just sit. I don't think he liked being alone, so if Gaeul didn't get up with him, he came to get me."

The front porch of your small cabin had faced a tree line, sort of like the view from this porch. You remembered sitting there next to Mireu and dreaming about what your new life would be like when you finally got away.

"Y/N, this won't last forever, you just need to be patient."

"I have been patient, for five years I have been patient! Staring out into the forest just like this... It feels like I'm still there. It feels like you're just pretending to care to keep me here."

"That's not what we are doing –" You cut him off.

"I didn't say that's what you were doing, I'm saying that's how it feels! I feel trapped and it makes me so anxious."

"Are you unhappy?"

"No..." It was the truth, you weren't unhappy. You were fitting into a pack, something you never thought possible, in all those years of thinking about your future, you never thought you would be lucky enough to be accepted. But there were other things bothering you, as good as it felt to be here, to be mated, it didn't satisfy everything.

You pushed the heels of your palms against your eyes, "I'm frustrated. I'm scared. I'm embarrassed..."

"What?" He asked in surprise, "What are you embarrassed about?" You couldn't find the words for several minutes.

"I feel embarrassed about last night," You finally said, "I've never done anything like that."

"Well I thoroughly enjoyed it," He replied with a smirk, then his expression softened, "What about it are you embarrassed about? Embarrassed that it was with me? Embarrassed that you were so bold? Embarrassed that you have the pull with an alpha?"

You looked away, unsure and afraid that you would upset the alpha, "Taehyung told me that you are a really good alpha and I see the way the rest of the pack gravitates towards you, but it's hard to undo five years of built up resentment. I find it hard to trust you, but my omega was ready to give in completely last night. I'm embarrassed that I lost control and let my omega take over." You blinked back the tears that pricked at your eyes.

"I have fought so hard for my freedom, I have fought for years! And because of the pull, my omega was ready to give it all away in a matter of seconds," Your voice was getting louder as the emotions rose higher in your chest, "I'm embarrassed that I lost control, that I am weak, that I'm giving up on the vision I had for myself, and that I'm questioning all my morals by mating with multiple alphas."

You wiped angrily at the tears that slipped out. You wanted to shift and run, but instead you put your head in your hands and tried to breathe your tears away. There was silence for a long time, or what felt like a long time. Yoongi didn't move and you couldn't bring yourself to look up at him.

"Matings aren't really that hard for most alphas," He finally said, "If our alpha wants something, then it feels like our right to take it. Because of the pull, I already feel like I have a right to you, that you will be my mate, that I have the duty to protect you, and the right to ask you to submit."