The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

The Muppet Show

Remus looked at Lily, who was just as stunned that their intellectual conversations were being interrupted for... monster puppets on muggle TV? Funny enough, they weren't the only ones with their doubts. Even Sirius was questioning what was happening as the three adults moved with excitement like they were little kids...

"A puppet show?" Sirius's eye brows slanted with a sort of judgemental attitude, "Sounds like kid stuff..." 

"Kid stuff!" Elphinstone snorted, shaking his head. "Just you wait and see - you'll be hooked the same as we are! Dora come help with the telly clicky. I'll never get the hang of this thing!" 

Dora took the remote control from Elphinstone, clicking a few things and finally making the picture on the muggle telly show up. Dora patted the seats on the couch on either side of her as she sank down into it and James and Sirius bounded over to sit each under one of her arms. Lily sat on James's other side and Remus settled into a high-backed chair. Peter lay on his belly on the floor, arms propping his chin up, and Elphinstone sat on the arm of the chair that Minnie had taken.

The show started with a funny looking orange muppet with noodly looking hair knocking on a door and seeing a man standing wearing a funny coat all covered with puppet arms waving about. "Spike Milligan?" said the orange muppet.

"Yes?" asked the man he'd called Milligan.

"Thirty seconds to curtain, Mr. Milligan."

"Hmm... well - thirty seconds to the curtain... it's five and eleven to the floor, I'll take the curtain!" Milligan said. The arms all over him were waving about like crazy.

Peter was giggling already.

"Say, what's that you're wearing?" asked the orange muppet, watching the arms flap and wave about.

"My family crest!" said Milligan.

"Well what's that?" the orange muppet asked.

"A coat of arms!" answered Milligan. 

Peter, James, and Elphinstone Urquart all cracked up at this. 

And all of a sudden the screen broke to a bright logo that read "THE MUPPET SHOW" and a flippy-flappy, bright green frog was on the screen.

"Oh he's funny, look at those arms," Lily laughed, her eyes bright.

"That's Kermit," explained Dora.

n a funny voice he shouted, "IT'S THE MUPPET SHOW WITH OUR VERY SPECIAL GUEST STAR, MR. SPIKE MILLIGAN! YAAAYYYY!!!"

"What the actual fuck are we watching?" Sirius asked.

"Shhhh!" McGonagall snapped.

Music started playing - trumpets and horns and kazoos and the like - and there were dancing creatures - chickens and bears and things that weren't even recognizable for their shapes.

"It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights, its times to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight!"

Remus's mouth was open in an expression of disbelief at what he was seeing, and James was laughing as Dora bopped side to side to the music, making Sirius and James both dance in place with her as she clapped her hands to the tune. Elphinstone sang along and Remus's eyes turned to look at him in surprise as the crazy old man knew every line...

"It's time to put on make up, it's time to dress up nice! It's time to raise the curtains on the Muppet Show tonight!"

By the time the theme song had ended and a bear with a bow tie and a cowboy hat had come on to tell jokes, they were all hooked - even Remus kept laughing and muttering, "Alright, that was clever," now and then throughout the forty minutes that proceeded. By the time it was over, Sirius was declaring undying love for Fozzie Bear, saying how he was certain he'd once seen that very bow tie at Madam Malkin's shop and he wanted to go and purchase it just so he could make "wocka wocka" jokes at Bilius Weasley while they were degnoming the gardens.