How To Be Like Me: Confessions of a Plastic

Confession 8- The Dead Are Beautiful

The Dead Are Beautiful

When I was six my mother took me to her bestfriends place of work. Back then my mother was poor. Hard to imagine but it was true. We went to see my mother's friend, the embalmer. She put makeup on the dead bodies to make them look young and at peace. It was truly beautiful.

I want to be an embalmer right now so I can kill Adona Merlin and do terrible makeup on her face. Then everyone will see her for the terribly nasty person she is. A liar.

And most definitely not royalty.

"I'm leaving now, you crazy old bitch. Kassidy come with me. You cannot be seen with her anymore. She is disgraceful," I yell as I shove the big chair I was sitting in away.
Kassidy gives Adona a hug and whispers something in her ear. She follows me out.

"Let's go to your house Kass."

*******

"First things first I'm a realist," Iggy Azalea raps through the monster sound system.

I lean back into an armchair in Kassidy's living room. The one that was trashed not to long ago. Hailey is teaching Kassidy about eyeliner and how to properly apply it.

It took some convincing to get Hailey to even speak to Kassidy. Now they look almost like fast friends. Crazy.

I want Jacob to come down the stairs and see us all sitting around like bums. He would lighten the mood.

"I'm going up to your room for a second Kassidy, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone you dumb bitch," I say absent-minded.

I'm going to snoop. I want to find something on anyone. I want to see what Kassidy and Jacob are like on an almost personal level. I like to be in people's business, obviously. Since Kassidy is practically a minion now her business is my business so it's not snooping.

I walk up the grand staircase and around the railing. After I have completed a lap around the second floor I begin my digging. The door closest to the stairs is simply a broom closet. The next a posh bathroom with a classic claw foot tub. The next is a linen closet. I'm assuming all of the doors close to the stairs only reveal meaningless rooms. Skipping a few doors I open one. This one is equally as plain: a fitness room. I climb up more stairs to the third story because I'm pretty sure the second is mostly full of crap. And Kassidy's room is on the third floor.

At the end of the stairs I can hear music playing softly. Or at least where I am it's soft. I bet it's Jacob!! That fucking moron! What song is this? I creep closer to the music, and it grows louder.

"17 38 Aye. I'm like hey what's up hello, sit your pretty ass on it soon as you came through the door," the sound system blares.

I loved listening to this song when I felt like a bad ass.

I swing open his bedroom door, and jut out my hip. The music is to loud for him to hear me gasp in horror. He is having sex with some red head on his bed. His hips are grinding in and out and omg. I want to wash my eyes wish soap until they bleed! His back muscles tense and just as the song changes I slam the door and walk away. They had to have heard it.

I quickly rush down the hall to the stairs. I'm half way down the stairs when he starts to yell my name.

"Payton wait!"

I turn and look at him. He is wearing only his boxers and a sexy eight pack. Ew he just had sex shut up mind! OMYGROSS. He doesn't owe me an apology I was the one who snooped.

"So I could have used a few more minutes to finish the job, but I raced down here to talk with you," he winked. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't need this. Bye," I turn away.