Family Secrets

Chapter Nineteen

Sleep became more and more difficult as the month shifted into March. I would toss and turn until I was comfortable only to be uncomfortable the next minute. My back ached worse than it had ever done in the previous months. There were times I pulled myself out of bed to pace the floor, trying to make myself so tired I would fall asleep.

At times, I resorted to reading some later portions of my grandmother's diaries. So that was how I found another mention of the royal family: It is hard to believe that it has been two years since I was last in London. At least I have the comfort of knowing Sarah didn't win the Prince's affection. No. He's not the prince of Wales any longer. He will be crowned king soon. King George III. The little news I hear from London is that he will soon marry a lady from a German duchy.

Fortunate lady.

I suppose it had been vain on my part to think that I, with no title or great fortune, would have won. No doubt he would have treated me in the same way the Duke of Richmond has treated me. 

It was something of a surprise that Grandmama hadn't mentioned that at least it would have been an honor to be the king's mistress. But a lady wasn't supposed to think of those things.

He sent a letter. After so long, I had assumed he had forgotten all about me and the child I bore. But no. He did recall us and has graciously sent money so that she can be educated. Should I respond and thank him? Should I tell him about Katherine and what our daughter is like?

No. It would be best to keep that part of my past where it belongs. Locked away, never to be spoken of. 

How well I understood that feeling! I didn't want to return to Bath and see the places I associated with Ingram. His was a name I didn't want to hear ever again. Given that I was about to give birth to his child, however, I would always have a reminder of him.

These thoughts plagued me on Sunday night, but I didn't think anything unusual about my restlessness or the pain in my back. Sometimes before dawn, though, there was a strange feeling of water gushing out of me. My hand shook as I reached for the candle on my table. Before I could lift the light to see, I could feel the liquid running down my legs.

"No," I breathed as pain shot across my stomach. I grasped the table top and tried not to scream. "Oh, no. No. No."

The baby was coming. Now. After so much waiting, the moment I had dreaded and tried not to think about had arrived. What was I going to do? After what felt like an eternity, the pain eased enough that I straightened. "Mrs. Shellman," I said aloud. It helped me to focus. "I need Mrs. Shellman."

The maid would have to go for her, of course. But would she hear me if I called?

"Molly!" I said, hating how my voice trembles. No. That wasn't loud enough. "Molly! Miss Greaves! I need help here!"

When there was no immediate response or any kind of sound from the rest of the house, I stepped towards the door. If I got it open, they might be able to hear me. It took every ounce of willpower I had to get there and to wrench the door open.

"Miss Greaves!" She was the one closest to me. How furious would she be that I had disturbed her sleep? I was in too much pain and too scared to really care. "Miss Greaves!"

I leaned against the door frame, trying to breath as another stab of pain hit me. Why did it hurt so much? Was this normal? Was something wrong?

"What are you screeching about?" Miss Greaves grumbled, opening the door across the hallway. In the darkness, I couldn't see her glare but I knew it was there. "What do you want? It is the middle of the night!"

"I-I need Mrs. Shellman," I informed her, digging my fingers into the wood. "The baby is coming."

She stepped closer, enough that I could see her face. "So it is. Well, let's get you onto your bed. You have made quite the mess."