The Pact

28. my cue to leave

A few weeks more had passed since my conversation with Theo, and Beck and I spent every waking moment together, even during school. He'd meet me outside my classes just so he could walk me to my next one. There was no such thing as 'boys night' anymore, because he refused to exclude me from their activities, though, sometimes I wished he would.

I never really knew how gross boys could be. I mean, I knew it, but I didn't know it.

Griff and Beck's relationship returned to normal, and occasionally, with a great effort of convincing from both Griff and I, we could convince Beck to leave my side for more than an hour to go get drinks with Griff and the boys.

And, when they'd return, Beck would drunkenly throw his arms around me while I listened to the boys complain about how annoying he was, constantly talking about me, singing praises about me.

And every time they did that, I could feel myself fall in love with him all over again.

I never thought I could love him more, but each time Beck would put his arm around me or tell me how much he loved me, my heart would swell, my stomach would flip, and I would find myself falling just a little bit more in love with him.

Things were going great.

Until they weren't.

It started off slow; small excuses to cancel plans, skipping my volleyball games, ignoring my calls and texts.

I tried not to worry. I tried to be supportive. I tried to show him that I wasn't going anywhere, that it was okay. But it was like he could feel my pain, like he could sense the way my heart was breaking.

I tried my hardest not to let it show.

But it did.

It was as if he was putting up a wall. A wall to protect himself.

And the more he ignored me, the harder it was to take.

It wasn't until the second week of December that I had decided to take matters into my own hands. I hadn't heard from Beck in over a week, and the pit in my stomach just kept growing.

So, I went to his house one night after the boys had gone out to partake in their drunken shenanigans.

I didn't even bother to ring the doorbell, instead walking straight inside of the house.

The house was dark when I entered, silent.

I made my way upstairs to his room, stopping outside the door to listen for something, anything.

There was nothing.

I slowly opened the door, stepping inside, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness.

It was only then that I noticed Beck sitting at the window, his back turned to me.

He sat with his head leaning against the window, staring outside, his face emotionless.

I walked over to him, kneeling on the floor next to him.

He didn't turn to look at me.

I stared at his face, my eyes tracing his features.

He looked so sad. So lost.

I wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him in some way, but I knew better.

He was hurting.

So, I let him be.

I sat beside him, silently watching as he watched the world outside.

"I miss you," I said softly after a while, breaking the silence.

He didn't respond.

"I miss you so much," I continued. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do this alone."