Finding Jaime

Chapter 77

I watched as Jaime lugged his duffel bags and knapsack downstairs.

"Is that everything?" I asked.

"No. My Xbox and stuff are still in my room," he said.

"Is it all packed? I'll grab it if you want."

"Sure. Yeah. It's all packed in the case you gave me."

I nodded and went into Jaime's room. I saw the case I'd given him to pack his electronics in, and carried it downstairs for him.

"Thanks," he said, as I set it down beside his duffel bags. 

"You ready?" I asked him.

"I think so," Jaime said.

"Nervous?" I asked.

Jaime shrugged.

"Maybe a little," he said.

"You're going to love it. I think, anyway. There'll be plenty of people for you to hang out with when I'm doing work stuff. And I have no doubt some of the press will want to meet you. That's completely up to you. For the most part I keep your brothers and sister away from that, but you're almost 16. I think you can make that decision yourself."

Jaime shrugged again. I wasn't sure what exactly I expected from him. It was a new experience for him.

"If you have any problems with anyone on tour, tell me. Or one of the security guys. We'll take care of it."

"K," he said, turning towards the stairs.

"Jaime?" I asked. Something seemed to be bothering him.

"What?"  He asked. A little harshly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said tersely.

"Really?"

He looked up the stairs, back down at his feet and sighed. Then he looked at me.

"What if I get sick?  Like a couple weeks ago?"

I was stunned into silence. I hadn't thought about that.

"You won't be getting the chemo as often, and Dr. Jansen changed it up a little to better treat you and keep that tumour away, so hopefully it won't affect you like it did then. I know I seem like I'm overly optimistic, and I suppose to a point I am because I want to believe you're going to be okay after all this. But don't think I don't know what you're facing. I know you're scared. I am too. And if you do get that sick again, we'll deal with it."

"Dad?" He asked, sinking into the bottom stair and putting his head on his knees.

"Yeah? Jaime, you okay?"

"If I, if I get sick like I did a couple of weeks ago, if it's that bad, maybe just let me go?" Jaime said.

I sank down onto the stair beside him.

"Are you sure?" I didn't want to consider that. I didn't want to make that decision.

"Yes. No. I don't know," he said.

I sighed and put my arm around Jaime's shoulder. He winced a bit.

"You're sure you're okay, and your port is okay?"

"Yeah. Just a little sore. I think I slept funny and kind of irritated it more."

"Can I see it?" I asked.

"It's fine. It doesn't look any different."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, his head in his arms as we sat on the stairs. I felt like Jaime didn't want me to leave him, but wasn't sure what he wanted just now. I was sure he was done talking, for now, anyway. But he wasn't in any hurry to go upstairs.

"Are you two okay?" Meagan asked, coming down the stairs.

"Yep. Just sitting around, shooting the shit," I smiled.

"Jaime, are you all packed and ready for tomorrow?" She asked him.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm gonna go to bed, okay?"

He looked at me. I nodded.

"Of course. Good night. I'm waking you up at three, don't forget."

"If you're waking me up, why to I have to waste brain cells remembering that?" He smirked at me.

"Smartass," I said to him. He grinned as he went upstairs. Meagan sat beside me but I didn't say anything until I heard Jaime close his bedroom door. Then I let out a deep sigh.

"Are you okay?" Meagan asked me.

"I don't know. Jaime asked what would happen if he got sick on tour like he did a couple of weeks ago. I told him we'd deal with it. He asked me, if it's as bad or worse than last time, to let him go."

I covered my face with my hands and rubbed my eyes.

I looked over at Meagan whose face was unreadable.

"Really?  He asked you to do that?"

"Yeah. But when I asked if he was serious, if that's really what he wants, and he said he didn't know."

"I hope you don't have to find out how serious he is about that. Because I expect you both home."

I nodded. I'm not sure if it came down to it, I could make that decision. But I didn't know how long I could watch my son suffer if it got that bad.

"Come on, Pete. Let's get you to bed, and hopefully things will be fine. You're going on tour! With your son, who's never seen a concert from your perspective."

I smiled at Meagan and gave her a kiss.

"Promise me you're both coming home," she said.

"We're both coming home," I smiled. "Jaime's going to be fine."