𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 - 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑰𝑺 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶.

sixteen!

lily rolls her eyes, more at herself than anyone else. "no. because if i start talking about it, then i'm probably going to start crying and i don't think i'll stop."

with another deep breath, she walks past them, ignoring the slightly concerned gaze chris has on her.

she walks back to her old spot, sitting down and leaning against the couch, staring at the phone again.

"why don't you just have one of us read what you have so far?" nick asks, but lily's too stressed to refuse; she wordlessly nods, grabbing her phone and handing it to him.

madi reads it with nick, while matt and chris watch lily's quickly-by-the-minute stressed out state.

when they finish reading, madi and nick walk over to her, nick handing the phone back.

"i think it looks good." madi nods, as elliot leans to read the caption over her best friend's shoulder.

lily rolls her eyes at this. "okay, how about the rest of you read it? you're going to see it online anyways." she mumbles, handing it to elliot.

"you sure?" matt asks and lily shrugs numbly.

she walks into the hall and into her room.

she tries to keep the dam of emotions inside her guarded-up walls as she moves to sit on her bed.

she wishes nessa was here. as much as she's grown close to the triplets and madi and she feels like she can trust them now, no one would get this except for nessa.

with a shaky sigh, she walks over to her dresser and pulls open the familiar drawer.

with shaky fingers, she pulls out that familiar bottle and does her best to ignore the smell and the big urge to chug it all down.

a deep inhale behind her makes her turn around anxiously.

chris is stood in the doorway, a look of both apprehension and disbelief on his face.

though, before he can say anything, she holds a hand up.

"before you start accusing me, i swear it's not what it looks like." she says, before walking over to her bathroom sink with the bottle in one of her hands.

chris follows as she quickly opens the cap and pours the entirety of the bottle into the sink.

"i'm spiraling, okay?" she says after putting the cap back on and setting the bottle on the counter, before turning to face him. "and when i spiral...i do bad things that i don't mean for."

"i wasn't going to accuse you, alright?" he murmurs, raising his hands up in surrender.

she takes in a deep breath, giving him a pointed look. "really? because your expression said something else entirely."

he laughs, shrugging. "look, you seemed upset and i figured i'd check on you," he explains, a small smile forming on his lips. "although, when i saw you with the bottle, it really did feel like deja vu."

it takes lily a moment to put it all together, before she scoffs and rolls her eyes at him.

"shut up." she laughs, playfully shoving him.