TORTURED SOUL | abby littman

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲.

"I understand that now," Acree said with a slow nod. "I understand where I went wrong with handling it and I will try to make it better for as long as you let me." Rowan only scoffed, making a mental note to never let Acree feel like she was some sort of hero by telling her she was doing the right thing. "Cam's been wanting to talk to you," Acree continued on. "He misses you."

Rowan gulped harshly, hating the way it made her heart warm up for a beat to hear that. Against her better wishes, she found herself asking, "Where is he?"

"Playdate with Austin. Georgia should be dropping him off now." That reminded Rowan, she hadn't talked to or seen Georgia in a while. She didn't have a reason to since she wasn't dropping Cam off at school anymore but she still missed their morning talks. She missed having someone she could rely on. She hadn't known what changed but Georgia didn't try anymore. She seemed too busy for Rowan.

That hurt a lot more than she'd like to admit.

Luckily, before Rowan could dwell in the bottomless pit that seemed to be her pain, the doorbell rang and, soon enough, Cameron was walking in, his lopsided smile brightening the room the second he stepped in.

Pink.

Rowan saw the pink curls first.

Cameron had dyed his hair pink.

Rowan remembered it. She remembered it all too well and even mentioned it to Jay in passing, to ask him to tell the person he was staying with that Cam wanted to dye his hair pink. This was before she had come to see him. She remembered the day Cam saw Nova's pink hair and wished to dye his own but Rowan told him to wait for the holidays before he did so. It must have been dyed for a while now because it didn't have that unnatural shiny glow that came with recently dyed hair, instead had faded into a soft bubblegum pink colour.

Cameron had finally got his wish.

He got his wish and Rowan hadn't been there for it.

What else had she not been there for?

Just how much had she missed?

"Ro―"

"I'm going out." Rowan hadn't meant to cut Cameron off. She really didn't. And she didn't intend to push past him to get to the front door and she certainly hadn't wanted to hear she hates me coming from her little brother but she needed to get out. She was too overwhelmed and it felt like the walls were closing in on her, the air in the room thinning out. Grace had advised her to leave the place that made her feel like if it ever happened and Rowan chose to follow her advice to avoid having some sort of panic attack in front of her little brother.

It didn't stop even after she left the house, ignoring Acree calling her back. It didn't stop once she walked down the street and crossed onto the next. It didn't stop once she walked around the block and ended up at an intersection she recognised to be on the way to Abby's house.

Why the hell was she here?

Abby wasn't even home. She wouldn't be back until tonight.

"Fuck, fuck, why are you so stupid?" Rowan groaned, hitting her head with her palms as she stopped on the street, eyes squinting shut for a few seconds. "Fuck, you idiot! Stop overreacting," she kept mumbling to herself as she held back her sniffles. "You're being so stupid."

Rowan couldn't stop the overbearing feeling that was consuming her mind and heart. It was heavy. Too heavy, like a boulder resting on her shoulders. If that even made sense. Rowan wasn't sure it did but she couldn't think right now. Everything was going too fast. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to stop this until it turned into something worse.