TORTURED SOUL | abby littman

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝘄𝗼.

      
     
     
     
     

chapter forty two

{ extremely unedited }

     
     
     
     
    

ROWAN WAS LONELY. Bored and lonely. That was never a good combination. It had only been two days since Marcus, Abby and Stevie had left to visit their families, leaving Rowan without anyone to distract her thoughts with. Don't get it wrong, Rowan loved spending time with Bob but there was only so much time she could spend with the same person continuously without getting bored.

She had spent most of this day in her room, lying down on her mattress, blanket kicked to the end of the bed, just a hoodie on which she stole from Bob's wardrobe that went down to mid-thigh, her hood pulled up over her curls as she played with the strings. All she had to accompany her was a box of Pringles and her laptop on her lap, playing That '70s show. She would watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine but she was keeping that to watch with Marcus so one of her other favourite shows it was. The show was playing quietly and Rowan's eyes flickered across the screen, mindlessly taking in the media with not a single thing being registered in her mind. Her thoughts were running too quickly, leaving no space for the show to stay.

Rowan felt alone again.

After the day she spent feeling paralysed in her bed, Rowan had been doing okay. She didn't feel so lonely, so alone. She had been around people, around friends, made amends and been out of the house. She went on a drive, something she hadn't done in too long. She created art with her best friend under a bridge. She had been living for those few days.

And now?

Now Rowan was simply surviving again.

She hated it. She hated how quickly it switched between the two. She wanted to stay living, not surviving. She wanted to be happy with no lows but here she was, stuck in bed completely alone with her mind sinking into a low.

Rowan hated all of this.

She had called Grace earlier this day, something that was starting to become a daily occurrence between the two. The first time it had been Rowan calling Grace, the day Abby left with her family, her negative thoughts coming back in a rush that she felt her breath being knocked out of her. Without really thinking, she had called Grace who helped her calm down from her anxiety attack even while being in a different town. Rowan apologised on end after that but Grace insisted it was fine and they talked for close to an hour after that, mostly it being Rowan filling her in with everything that was happening in her life. In return, Grace told her stories from her time as a receptionist in the hospital in hopes of distracting Rowan.

It had.

Since then, they talked for close to two hours a day but today Grace had to cut it early after only ten minutes, apologising profusely but claiming she had no choice but to leave, not giving a reason to do so. Rowan continued to say it was okay, knowing that Grace was an adult with responsibilities and couldn't drop everything for Rowan, but it still doomed the rest of her day.

"Hey, Rivera."

Rowan tilted her head up from her laptop, meeting Camilla's gaze as she stood by the door. She didn't hear Camilla walk into her room and did not understand how she could be in this house when Bob was out with friends currently so there'd be no one to let her in but chose not to question it. She was glad she wasn't alone.

"Miss me?"

Just like that, her day was better.

"Tremendously, Castillo," Rowan responded, a smile lighting up her face as she slammed down the screen of her laptop, the negative thoughts dulling into a tiny sting in the back of her head. "I didn't know you were still here. No family out of town?" Camilla kicked off her shoes before jumping into the bed so she was lying on her front, Rowan groaning as the girl's chin collided with her shoulder.