Simon the Homeless

Simon rebels against Pride Month?1?

After two thousand rabbit light years (three months in human years), the world managed to go back to normal after Gaspard made them all his slaves after defeating everyone in the battle. The citizens rose up to power and destoryed the government, and Gaspard demoted himself to a child instead of a god. All has been peaceful since.

Simon and Gaspard reconciled and were walking to the mall to buy some ass tight jeans for the strip club. When suddenly, Simon saw a poster that offended him.

It said...

Happy pride month

"Ugh no ew disgusting attention seeking rats!1!" Simon insulted, and destroyed the poster with his op hands.

Gaspard was sucking on his thumb innocently when he noticed Simon abusing the pride month. He turned mad and became a monstrosity.

"AAAAAAAAAA!" Gas monstrosity roared, and burned Simon with his fire. He was about to crackle painfully when he suddenly heard a song in the distance. The brothers stopped what they were doing and looked at the horizon.

A crowd was coming. They were singing a gay song and wearing rainbow tophats. As they paraded through the streets, Simon shook with anger. He was not happy about this. He needed to stop this immediately.

"MICE" Simon yelled with frustration, and hauled a statue at them. The statue crushed a kid.

The crowd got mad and chased Simon. Simon ran to China, but then he realized that China eats everything (even children) and he got scared and hid underground. The crowd walked over him dramatically and Simon was breathing heavily. But then they went away.

Simon decided to make a video for his Simon vlog. It was his best idea yet. He got out his phone with a straight flag phone case and started recording.

"Hey guys today we're building an underground base with diamond ore and it will have five pools and ender dragon butlers!1!1!!" Simon announced epicly.

It did a montage song as he built his new home. It was beautiful. He could even see the sunset through his window. It was so amazing that Simon screamed.

But wait, how can you see the sunset if you're underground?1?1?

That's when Simon realized he built his mansion above ground. It was big and diamondy and he had just screamed for the mob to hear. He had fucked up so badly that he couldn't believe it.

Next thing he knew, the gay mob was charging straight at him. They ate his beautiful diamond house and left nothing but crumbs. Simon fell but was caught by a random kid.

"T-T-Thanks for saving my life" Simon said, and blushed as the kid held him heroically. But the kid was mad and not having it. He dropped Simon and he hit the cold hard ground.

"You killed my brother" He said angrily, and clenched his fist.

"Oh you mean that mouse that I crushed with my statue?" Simon asked. "Yeah I don't really regret it tbh, I did it because he was wearing a weird pink yellow and blue scarf in summer"

"YOU MEAN PANSEXUAL!1!1!!1!" The kid screamed, and suddenly had an axe. He tried to kill Simon, but before he could, the homophobic brat whisled.

Then, Gaspard came flying. Gaspard decapitated the kid's head as he flew past. It was cool. Simon went on Gaspard's back and they flew to the mall to continue their search for ass tight jeans for the strip club. The mob cried because they had lost.

As they were flying, Simon was watching GameToons. It was so cringe that he had dried up like a prune and was now lifeless. R.I.P bozo, you should have known after seeing the thumbnails. Gaspard suddenly realized something and stopped flying.

Simon was chucked forward. The air replenished his life and he was returned to normal. Gaspard caught him and dramatically held him over the tall ground below.

"What are you doing stinky" Simon insulted casually, too busy being brainwashed by gametoons garden of banban sad origin story. He started to tear up from the sadness. It was so sad.

"I just realized that you're homophobic" Gaspard said betrayaldly. "And I am gay for dating Satan in chapter decade ago. I should have let you die"

Then he dropped Simon. He fell loudly. He crashed into a building and dust went all the way to the atmosphere and into space. It went so far that it went in the skeld and the imposter choked on the dust and died. The crewmates had won thanks to Simon.

Simon woke up to see Gaspard flying to him fastly. It was scary. He tried to run, but Gaspard kicked him like a ball and he flew to China town square.

A pride parade was happening in China town square. There was so much rainbow that Simon almost choked and died. But he didn't. He climbed the fountain and got out a big straight flag and started waving it.

"Where's the straight pride parade huh?!?!?!?!??!?!?" Simon screamed, and everyone stopped parading. They looked at Simon creepily.

"Tf" Simon said, regretting his actions. He tried to run, but a random girl with a bi double tophat swallowed him whole. It was a good ending.

Simon had tried to end pride month. He failed. Don't be like Simon.