Replaceable Timelines: Book 1. [COMPLETED]

Epilogue

I followed Jason's advice and came to school.

But I don't think I slept at all last night. I stayed awake in the darkness of my room for what felt like days. Staring at the ceiling and watching the light of street cars cast long shadows across my room.

I was overcome with remorse. I replayed Ms. Simmons' words in my head over and over again and saw her and Spencer's expressions every time I closed my eyes.

And I remembered her announcement during class, about having morning sickness. Was that...real?

Was it a ploy to stop others from attacking her or was she really pregnant? Now I'll never know. Did I end three lives?

God, it's so fucking awful. I'm so fucking awful.

I don't remember sleeping, but my body woke up at the same time it always does, ready to start the day. Even if the mind is unwilling, the body continues.

I almost thought that that entity would come back in my dreams after my first kill. But it didn't, it doesn't care about how we feel, or what we do in the game. As long as it's entertained...

The paranoia is extending its reach further and further. As I walked to school this morning, I stopped to think that every single person passing by me could be a part of it. That a random vehicle passing by could stop suddenly, and that someone could emerge and shoot me in the back of the head.

And I thought that I'd deserve it.

My whole body feels like it's aching.

To harm someone so... destructively. The feeling of rupturing Spencer's throat is stuck to my hands like phantom pain.

The first day I came back, I couldn't help but want to run to school. I was so, happy. I was so hopeful for the future.

Now I'm honestly considering running into oncoming traffic.

Not that I'd do it, I'm a pussy. I'm scared of dying. No matter how much I think I deserve it.

The guilt must live on in me, or else it would be like they were never here.

I'm sitting in English class right now, class is almost over. Austin is here, and so is Kelly.

They've been trying to talk to me all morning, but I've been ignoring them, not even responding to them. I don't feel like I have anything to add to conversations. The depression is eating me alive; it's not helping that I'm so fucking tired.

After Ms. Farley's bitching ended, and subsequently, her class. I made my way to chemistry.

Mr. Radek was here. He looked worse off than I was.

But at least he's here.

During class, he wouldn't look my way. He'd barely looked at anyone.

He probably spent the night doing the exact same thing I did.

During class, I kept glancing my way to the seat that was once occupied by Spencer beside Carly. Now Emma was sitting in it.

She looks distraught. And when I was eavesdropping on their conversation, she doesn't know why she was so depressed.

Carly chalked it up as just a moody day from the weather.

Mr. Radek barely talked, he made the excuse that he was coming up with a cold and gave everyone an assignment to do instead and to review our previous lessons.

He seemed to keep up the façade that he's a responsible and capable teacher.

No, it's not a façade. He is capable.