DIRT: the grunge diaries - Bessie's diary

Entry 30 - What the hell have I

WARNING! 18+ READERS ONLY - DRUGS AND SEXUAL CONTENT

Bessie

After falling into a blissful slumber with Jerry spooning me, I awake at about 3 am and walk to the bathroom, still naked, still coming off of my high from our recent activity together. I open the door and close it behind me once I'm inside and I look at myself in the reflection of the mirror over the sink. I notice handprints where Jerry had held me last night, a little red, where he was pissed at me for indulging in a sexual meeting with his frontman. They don't hurt, but if anyone, especially Chrissie, sees the markings, she will no doubt lay into Jerry for it, being the protective motherly presence in our little group that she is. I love her for it. 

I wash my face with a little splash of cold water, the coolness waking me a little as I feel sleepy but also in a haze after Jerry's admittance. He loves me. He said it for real this time and I have no idea what I'm doing with that information. It doesn't really make sense, not one bit, however his over protectiveness of me kinda shows it. Don't get me wrong, sex with Jerry is insanely great and he knows exactly what makes me tick, but I don't love him. He's just my number one for a good time, and as we both have high sex drives, we kind of suit in that area.

Once I'm done in the bathroom, I open the door again, the light from the room illuminating the rest of the suite, and I see Jerry sat up, sniffing something. He holds his nose and rubs it a little where whatever drug he's taken has given him some irritation. He sees me and smiles, sniffing as the few remnants of the drug make their way to his senses.

"Hey babe..." He says as he moves the tray he has the white powder on, to the end of the bed.

"Hey." I reply. "Is that?"

"Coke? Yeah...I needed a hit. Want some?" Jerry asks.

"Sure, why the fuck not. This whole trip is gonna be me self sabotaging and being reckless, so why not start early?" I smirk.

I take the straw he's already used and insert it into my left nostril and bend over to the tray, blocking my other nostril with my finger on the side of my nose. I snort the powder up my nose and drop the straw, holding onto my nose the same way Jerry just did and wait for the drug to do it's thing.

"Atta girl." Jerry says smoothly as I sniffle, my head kind of hurting where I have taken the drug. "Take it all in."

Jerry lights a cigarette and takes a deep draw, blowing the smoke to the side. I look at him and smile, then walk over to him and sit on his lap.

He accepts my body and places an arm around my waist before we kiss tenderly, cocaine fuelled and horny as hell. As we continue to kiss, his tongue meeting mine as we enjoy the steamy exchange, I take his cigarette from his fingers and pull away from the kiss to take a draw. As I put the tobacco stick to my mouth, the end glows where I have puffed and I blow the smoke to the side, my eyes not straying from Jerry's.

"Fuck...Bess....you're so sexy." he says before moving his lips to my neck. I know he loves me, and maybe I'm being selfish because I guess I'm using that to my advantage, but I am extremely horny right now. I wasn't fifteen minutes ago, but since snorting the white stuff, my nethers became wet and I want to be pounded senseless. I am always like this on that drug, it makes me horny and Cantrell knows it.

Jerry kisses my neck and I smile, closing my eyes and giggling slightly, before taking another draw of the cigarette.

"You got some drink or something?" I ask as he continues to place kisses down my neck.

Jerry laughs into his kisses, before he takes the cigarette from me again and pulls away to place the stick to his lips and take it in. He releases the smoke to the side and nods.