Aleatory Cote One-Shots

Therapykouji

A knock sounded on the door.

"Come in please."

My name is Ayanokouji Kiyotaka. I was bitten by a radioactive loli named plot-convenience-chan, and now I'm a 19-year-old working at Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School.

A boy with brown hair and brown eyes came inside.

"How may I help you today?"

"Well, you see, my girlfriend just dumped me. . ."

That's right, I'm a therapist for these depressed Gen Z teenagers. I've been working here for over one year now, and I try to keep my clients happy whilst keeping myself relatively sane. It's been a hectic job, but also quite interesting.

"Ike Kanji, yes? I see you've finally arrived for our appointment. Please, go on."

"Y-yeah. So basically, Shinohara broke up with me because apparently, she's tired of our relationship. I mean, I felt like she was becoming more and more distant since a few months ago, but this was really a shocker. Like, there's no problem with me, is there?"

"Can you recall doing anything that would compromise your relationship?"

"Um, not really? I feel like she's just being a bitch, but now that my girlfriend is gone no one loves me anymore. It's quite lonely, you know?"

"No I don—I mean, yes, it appears this breakup has taken quite the mental toll on you. Let's try and get rid of those negative thoughts with this method called laddering."

"Laddering?"

"Yes, it's a technique where you try to change your core belief by challenging it and replacing it with a more positive and logical core belief. For example, you could try and imagine what would happen if it wasn't your fault and that the problem simply arose from your circumsta—"

"Man, that sounds lame, can't you just give me an antidepressant or something?" Ike asked. Sigh, I'd rather be a white room instructor than dealing with these kids. At least the children in the white room are obedient. Although dealing with problem children is a good challenge at first, it gets repetitive to the point where I'm babysitting the same people every week.

"Are you really depressed though? Besides, the side effects of antidepressants will probably kill someone like you," I responded.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're too weak."

"Aren't you supposed to be giving me therapy instead of insulting me?" Sometimes I wish I got my own therapy.

"I am giving your therapy, albeit a bit indirectly. What does one do when they're weak?"

"Huh? Wait, let me think about it. . ."

I drank a bit of my tea while Ike thought about his answer. I grabbed a bag of pistachios from under my desk and started consuming them, putting the shells in the potted plant seated on the windowsill behind me. Sometimes I would turn around to bury the shells in the dirt, other times I like to flick it behind me onto the plant and depend on RNG to see if it lands on the leaves or the dirt.

"Sensei, what are you doing?" Ike inquired.

"As you can see, I'm giving therapy to the pistachios by freeing them from their shells."

"Uh-huh. . .anyways, I thought of my answer. Some weak people rely on the strong for help, some stay weak and don't do anything to improve their situation, but I think initially when somebody realizes they're weak, they would try to get stronger. Whether it's mentally weak or physically weak, they would seek therapy or the gym."