A love lost, A life gained

The Dam Cracks

Rahul was lying on the couch waiting patiently for Mahi to get ready. Dadi had let him sleep in a bit and had asked Jammy to fetch him for breakfast instead of going himself, that lazy prick. Right now Mahi was engaged in a tussle with his bag, its zip had gotten stuck. Rahul had tried to help but had given up soon enough. The zip just refused to move.

The bag won and in a rare case of aggression, Mahi growled "Fine, be like that", and straight up ripped the zip off. The regret was instant. It wasn't just the zip that ripped off, with the zip half of the top of the bag tore cleanly off stitches and all. He couldn't help it, he burst out laughing, Mahi's shocked expression and stunned silence making it so much funnier.

"Do you know any place that can fix this Bhai?" Mahi mumbled out.

Rahul laughed harder, making Mahi bury his face in his hands.

"Bhai please stop," he whispered embarrassed to his core.

"Ok ok," Rahul controlled himself, "I won't laugh anymore I promise. Stop pouting,".

"I am not pouting," Mahi denied vehemently, however his voice taking on a whine immediately contradicted his statement. He groaned looking even more embarrassed and quickly escaped to the bathroom, away from Rahul who was still having trouble not laughing. As he later led the kid down for breakfast, an amused grin firmly fixed on his face for the day; he tried to make up to him.

"We will go buy a new one after practice ok? Sorry for laughing,"

Mahi nodded in reply, still a bit embarrassed.

"Try not to tear this one apart though, we will check the zips and all,"

Mahi groaned and turned away, with what was clearly a whine though he refused to call it that.

Rahul laughed again, ah the delights of annoying a younger brother.

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Death is a truth. It is not some villain out to ruin people. It is not an evil looming around. It is simply a truth, an end to give meaning to life. And all that Mahi knew but knowing and applying were two different things. After that night on the terrace he had tried to start actively avoiding thinking about her. Which was kind of an impossible task. As soon as he started trying, very quickly he realized that everything around him, everything he was, it had bits and pieces of her. It was as if his decision to avoid triggers instantly converted everything around him into triggers. Instead of the progress he had been hoping for, he had immediately started digressing. Cricket got so much harder out of nowhere. He couldn't even look at his phone anymore, the already neglected device was chucked hard across the room in a fit of unnatural frustration that he himself didn't know was possible.

Another weird thing that happened was his bouts of irritation and frustration. Now Mahi didn't claim to be some sort of a saint but he knew, he didn't really get frustrated. There were too many logical conclusions in the world for him to get frustrated. And it wasn't like he was yelling at people. But like the flinging phone incident, he had nearly flung a couple more of his belongings. He had nearly chucked his bat in practice when he lost focus and lost his wicket before common sense and literal muscle memory stopped him from stupidity. On surface he was mostly maintaining a neutral front but inside? Everything was pissing him off, he was pissing himself off and it was exhausting arguments with himself that was preserving his behavior.

And then he ripped his bag apart. He was so done with life. Jammy Bhai kept to his word though and took him shopping. The small trip to buy a single bag turned into half the team wanting to tag along. He waited in the background watching the complete walkover of Bhai.