A Change of Plans

Chapter Twelve

Olivia had never been a good swimmer, but she had managed to struggle back to the surface after they'd fallen. Annie wailed and coughed, having swallowed water and Olivia gasped for air. The water was so rough that the moment she thought she could get a breath another wave would wash over her and Annie.

Her strength was already waning. The weight of her dress was pulling her down. She couldn't keep her head above water long enough to get a decent breath and her arms felt like they were burning from the added effort of trying to keep the baby's head above water.

She gasped as she came up again. She'd managed to keep Annie from going under with her, but another wave washed over them and she choked and sputtered, struggling for another breath.

She kicked her feet, trying her best to head for shore, but the water seemed to hold her where she was, right in the middle of the river, drifting downwards.

Just as the last of her strength left her and she was sure she couldn't last another second, she felt a large hand grab her at the waist and pull her up. One more wave washed over her before she realized that she was being pulled to shore.

"Kick your feet!" Anson said, spitting water as he was dragged under with her. But he refused to let go of her. "Come on Olivia! You can't give up on me, we're almost there!"

Somehow she managed to find enough strength to kick her feet and before she knew it she was standing on solid ground again. Only she didn't have the strength to stand.

Anson hauled her up onto the shore, before collapsing next to her in the grass.

Olivia sobbed, gasped for air and coughed up water all at the same time and Annie was crying hysterically as Olivia clutched her tightly.

Anson's chest was heaving and he had yet to catch his breath, but he managed to lift himself off the ground and crawl to her.

Sitting back on his heels, he pulled her to him, baby and all. "It's alright," he gasped. "You're alright." He lifted his hand and rested it on Annie's tiny head. She began to calm down almost immediately.

With his other hand, he gripped Olivia tight against him as she began to cry hysterically. She had her face buried against his neck but he couldn't discern her tears from the water that was dripping from his soaked hair.

What he could feel was her warm breath and her cold skin. He could feel her shivering in his arms and he suddenly realized that if he hadn't been able to save her and Annie, it would have utterly destroyed him.

But I don't like women, he reminded himself. I haven't in a long time. Don't like blue eyes. Don't like dark hair. Don't like babies who giggle when all you do is look at them. Or gaze up at you in awe when you touch them, like she's doing now.

He sucked his breath in sharply. "Have you got Annie alright?" he asked.

She nodded.

He dropped his hand from Annie's hair and slipped it under Olivia's knees, lifting her as he shakily got to his feet.

The horses had, thankfully, made it across with the wagon. They'd stopped not far from the water's edge to graze on some tender grass, but they were nearly a hundred yards away.

Gripping her tightly in his arms, he carried her the entire distance, not stopping until he reached a patch of grass nearby.

Setting her down, he jumped up into the wagon and grabbed the closest blanket he could see, unfolding it as he carried it back to her and wrapping it snugly around her and the baby.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kneeling in front of her as though he was begging for forgiveness.

"It wasn't your fault." She said tearfully.

"But I could have gone further upstream. Found a safer place to cross. I could have put you and Annie in the back. Something; anything,"

"No. You were right. We had to cross and there weren't any better places. Besides, we're both okay. We all made it across, didn't we?"

"But what if-,"he choked on the words. "What if you hadn't? What if you'd lost Annie because of me?"

She could barely endure the thought. "But I didn't."

He stared down at her for moment then got to his feet. "Stay here and rest. I'm going to check the harness and see if it can be fixed."

The horses had pulled the wagon a bit further up the slope for some new grass and Anson walked over. He checked all the straps and found that one had simply come unbuckled, not broken like he'd suspected and he breathed a sigh of relief.

He moved to the far side of the wagon as a wave of emotion suddenly swept over him. His breath came in large gulps as he struggled not to let the tears spill over. But he couldn't contain them and he wiped his eyes with the crook of his arm, sinking down into the grass next to the wagon wheel. Wrenching sobs racked his body as he considered what could have happened.

His horse gave him a pitiful look.

Anson hung his head between his knees and covered it with his arms. He'd survived losing someone he loved before. But this was different. There wasn't just one person, there was two and he knew that in order to save his heart he would have to take it back before he lost it completely. He just wasn't sure it wasn't already too late.

Olivia got to her feet. Her legs felt like rubber, but she managed to walk to the wagon. Anson was sitting on the ground, his head hanging dejectedly. He was still soaked through and she walked over quietly, draping one end of the blanket over his shoulders and sitting next to him. Letting out a long sigh, she leaned her head against his shoulder.

Why was she doing that? He wondered. How come she wasn't yelling and screaming at him like he deserved? Instead she'd come over to him and was trying to comfort him, even if it was just by sharing a blanket.

Saving his heart was going to be near impossible.

Sitting up straight, he leaned his head back against the wheel, turning it slightly to look down at her. Her eyes were closed. Annie was falling asleep. He wanted to reach over and stroke the baby's soft hair, but he didn't dare. That was probably what had got him into this predicament in the first place. No wonder he didn't like babies. They knew how to manipulate grown men.

"Maybe we should move on," he said after a while. He was getting too used to the feeling of her leaning on him.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked down at Annie. "You think she's going to be alright?"

He reached over and brushed his knuckles down her little cheek. "She's strong. She'll be fine." He said. Then he quickly pulled his hand away and stood up. "Shall we?"

She got to her feet and followed him to the wagon. "Thank you for coming after us." She said. Then she stood up on tiptoe and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning and climbing up onto the seat before he could even reach out to help her.

Yes. Near impossible.