Chapter 19

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The golden sand-like sunlight scattered in the red buildings, contrasting with the clear blue sky, pristine and untainted. The City of Sunlight truly lived up to its name, Xiao Zhan concluded after gazing out the window for half an hour.

During that time, he received a phone call from his mother, asking him and Wang Yibo to come home for dinner on the weekend, and he watched as the clouds gradually dissipated. After sighing and putting his phone back in his pocket, Xiao Zhan walked to the door of the lounge and knocked twice.

Wang Yibo made a small noise, probably understanding that nobody but Xiao Zhan would come to check on him.

Xiao Zhan opened the door, and Wang Yibo was sitting on the edge of the couch, holding a paper cup and bowing his head, lost in thought. Xiao Zhan closed the door and approached Wang Yibo, who looked up when he got closer.

"I'm fine" he smiled at Xiao Zhan after a few seconds of eye contact, as if to prove that he wasn't lying. He lowered his head and took a sip of water, saying, "I'm really fine."

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed the water, but it didn't alleviate the heaviness in his throat. The silence in the room made Xiao Zhan's sigh sound particularly heavy. Wang Yibo couldn't help but grip the paper cup tightly, and in the next second, Xiao Zhan took it from him.

"Don't pretend with me. I know you're feeling upset" Xiao Zhan placed the paper cup on the coffee table and sat down next to Wang Yibo. Wang Yibo placed his hands on his knees and remained silent. Xiao Zhan looked at him and asked, "It's not because of the chief flight attendant's rude remarks, right? You're not someone who's so sensitive. The question you asked me before we landed has nothing to do with this."

Wang Yibo's gaze flickered, and he pursed his lips. Xiao Zhan moved closer to him, adopting the gentlest attitude he could muster, and said softly, "There's no one else here. Why weren't you happy today? Tell me about it, okay?"

Wang Yibo turned his head, and Xiao Zhan smiled at him in a conciliatory manner, repeating, "Tell me? Even if I can't help you solve it, let me listen. I've told you before, when you speak out about the things that are weighing on your mind, you'll feel much lighter and happier."

"Zhan ge" he had just managed to calm down, but as soon as Xiao Zhan entered the room and spoke, his heart became chaotic once again.

"Yeah" Xiao Zhan responded as he looked at him, placing his hand on Wang Yibo's shoulder.

Wang Yibo seemed to be overwhelmed by the slightest weight, lowering his head and burying himself in Xiao Zhan's embrace. Xiao Zhan hadn't reacted yet, but Wang Yibo had already hugged him tightly, burying his face in Xiao Zhan's chest and saying, "Hug me, I'll be fine soon."

He truly resembled a small, timid animal seeking warmth from its owner - timid, gentle, with clean fur and beautiful big eyes. Xiao Zhan replied, "Okay" and raised his hand to embrace Wang Yibo. Wang Yibo mumbled, "Give me a bit of your pheromones too, just a bit."

Xiao Zhan always complied with his requests, so he did as he was told. Wang Yibo took a deep breath, and Xiao Zhan caressed the back of his head, gently pressing him against his chest, asking,

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah" Wang Yibo opened his eyes, with a faint blush appearing around them. His gaze swept over the second button on Xiao Zhan's shirt, and he felt a little tired and dizzy. He wanted to just sleep in Xiao Zhan's embrace. He rubbed his cheek against Xiao Zhan's chest and sighed, saying, "Ge, your pheromones smell so good."

Xiao Zhan was caught off guard and stared at Wang Yibo. He heard Wang Yibo laugh and say, "In high school biology class, we learned that everyone's pheromones are unique and determined by multiple factors. So, to some extent, you can get to know a person through the scent of their pheromones."

"Like a cold spruce tree" Wang Yibo lowered his gaze. "It really resembles you."

Xiao Zhan ran his hand through Wang Yibo's short hair and asked, "How do I resemble it?"

"Standing outside the forest, you can only see the rain and smell the scent of soil and plants. That scent is plain but refreshing, something everyone can accept, and many people would like it" Wang Yibo explained with a smile. "But that's not the scent of a spruce tree. The real scent of a spruce tree can only be smelled by those who enter the forest."

"Is that so" Xiao Zhan murmured and smiled. "So, you mean to say you smell the scent of a spruce tree? What does it smell like?"

Serene, elegant, and steady... Many adjectives flashed through his mind, but he ultimately chose the one that least resembled the scent of a spruce tree.

"It's warm" Wang Yibo closed his eyes, as if recalling. "My dad, his pheromones smell like pine needles, and you are similar to him."

It was truly an honor, but it also made Xiao Zhan feel sad. He understood how high that compliment was, yet he couldn't bring himself to smile.

Since the unexpected passing of instructor Wang, Wang Yibo only felt guilt and regret when talking about his father. He wouldn't avoid Qingming Festival and his father's memorial day, but Xiao Zhan knew he was just accustomed to enduring. Everything appearing normal was merely a self-deceptive facade.

This year's Qingming Festival, Xiao Zhan accompanied Wang Yibo and his mother to pay respects at the instructor's tomb. Wang Yibo behaved calmly, and when they returned home in the evening, he seemed normal, taking a shower and retreating to his room. If Xiao Zhan hadn't checked on him while getting up in the middle of the night, he wouldn't have known that Wang Yibo had fallen asleep while crying.

Since childhood, Wang Yibo regarded his father as a role model, and even though they later had differences in their perspectives that led to estrangement, his love for his father never wavered.

Xiao Zhan sighed, lowered his head, and leaned against Wang Yibo. "Missing your father?"

Wang Yibo lowered his gaze and nodded. "Ge" he seemed to merge with the clouds over Lhasa, his eyes filled with a faint melancholy. "After Dad passed away, I often wondered if I was really in the wrong."

Xiao Zhan didn't say anything, just shook his head and hugged him tighter.

Wang Yibo rested in the cradle woven by the spruce tree and rain, his eyes empty as he stared at the floor. "Do you think... it's not that others look down on Omegas, but it's me looking down on myself? I don't actually hate the inequality in gender, but I can't accept being an Omega. Negative emotions need an outlet, and resenting 'inequality' is the most righteous choice."

"Don't say that about yourself" Xiao Zhan always found himself at a loss for words when facing Wang Yibo. He felt that whatever he said would sound pale, which made him more exhausted and turned him into someone completely unlike himself.

"You're not in the wrong. Even if you hate yourself for becoming an Omega, even if it's an emotional release, it's not wrong" Xiao Zhan said. "We're just ordinary people, let's not ponder the problems of all humanity. Just focus on understanding yourself."

"I feel like I've changed" Wang Yibo lifted his head, seeing his own reflection in Xiao Zhan's eyes. He engaged in a conversation with that self who appeared desolate and full of self-blame. "Since the day I became an Omega, I've become the person I used to despise the most—stubborn, blaming others, feeling that the whole world has let me down."

"I wasn't like this before" he saw that the other Wang Yibo, the one who used to smile, had a softer jawline and gentler eyes. He saw his seventeen-year-old self and asked, "Why did I used to despise people like that?"

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