For my sister | Negan |

61 - Some time to think

'Who put the idea of killing me into that pretty head of your, Christina?'

I realize now why he doesn't want me to look away. He wants to see the truth in my eyes. He couldn't have been sure that someone gave me the idea, but my reaction must have confirmed it, because the jolt I just felt must have been visible on my face.

But I don't answer right away. Telling him that it was Dwight must be like signing a death warrant. He's not going to let him get away with it. And I don't want that on my conscience. Especially because he could be a valuable ally to the Hilltop. He could be of value in keeping Ella safe.

'Don't test me', Negan says threateningly. His gaze darkens and his hold on my chin becomes a bit more uncomfortable. 'After last night, you fucking owe me. Someone has it out for me and I need to know who it is, so I can deal with it.'

'Simon.'

The name comes out on impulse. If I'm sending anybody to the grave, I'd rather it be him. He is vicious, cruel, bound to do worse if he ever were to take over from Negan. It would be better for everyone if he was gone.

But he is also Negan's right-hand man. And I have no idea where he was yesterday. He could have been far away from the Sanctuary for all I know, making it impossible for him to be the one that put me up to this. I really can't afford for Negan to catch me in a lie right now.

He keeps holding my chin and looks intently into my eyes, trying to read the truth in them. I make sure not to look away and I use ever part of mental energy I have within me trying to keep my face neutral. He has to believe me.

'I knew it', he mumbles after what seems like an eternity. When he lets me go and turns away to grab his shoes, I let out a soft sigh of relief. I'm not sure what he would have done if he realized I wasn't telling the truth.

'You... had your suspicions about him?' I ask him cautiously.

'Yes', he tells me while he ties up his shoes. 'The little rat wants to take my place. Like he could do what I do... After everything he did, I gave that psycho a chance and this is how he repays me.'

I swallow as I observe his anger. Again, he seems a little hurt too. Of course this man has stood by his side for years, it must be painful to think you've been betrayed by someone like that.

A sharp twinge of guilt jabs at my heart. I'm not sure what I've set in motion by lying about Simon. But whatever it is, there's no going back now.

'What are you going to do?' I ask him.

'I am going to take care of this', he says vaguely, stretching back to his full length when he's done with his shoes. 'And when I'm done with that, we're going to figure out what to do about that damn sister of yours.'

'Yes?' I ask him hopefully. I can hardly believe that he's actually postponed his plans to attack the Hilltop. Let alone that he wants to help me with Ella after what I did.

Negan lets out a big sigh and looks at me like he isn't sure whether he wants to kiss me or toss me out the window for a moment. I guess I don't exactly make his life any easier.

'I don't want you to lose your sister, Chris', he says sincerely.

It brings out an unexpected rush of affection in me. These last few days, though they were absolutely horrible, have shown that in his own way, he really does care about me. He forgave me after I tried to run away. He spared me after I almost tried to kill him. Now he even wants to help me save the sister that actually did manage to get away.

So I get up from the bed and rush over to embrace him. He seems a little taken aback, but then he closes his arms around me and rests his chin on the top of my head.