For my sister | Negan |

38 - Pretty romantic

'Jesus Christ', I reply indignantly to his blue balls comment. He laughs in response as we start to make our way to his room.

'I'm just kidding, doc. Like I said this morning, I don't want you to feel any kind of pressure.'

He puts a hand lightly on my back and when I look up at him, I find him looking at me with an intensity in his eyes that makes me look away again.

No pressure.

That would be nice. All I've felt since dad died, is pressure.

'Good', I say. It comes out a little sharper than I intended. I can feel Negan's eyes boring into me even though I keep my gaze turned away.

'You seem even more stressed-out than you did this morning, if that's possible. Did something go wrong today?'

'No', I tell him, waiting for him to open the door, since we've reached his room. 'Things are finally back under control again. Though it was a bit of an adjustment to do everything without Cal.'

'I thought you'd be happy', Negan says, raising an eyebrow while he opens the door. 'Haven't you wanted me to get rid of your guards from the start?'

'I am happy', I say quickly, flashing him a smile and grabbing his arm shortly while I pass him to get inside the room. 'Really, thank you. I'm so glad you trust us to walk around unguarded. I promise you, you won't regret it.'

Unless we actually do escape. If we try, we better make damn sure we get away, because we'd never get another chance.

'You're welcome.' He smiles as he walks over and leans in to kiss me. I raise my head to meet him and feel a flutter of excitement as our lips touch each other.

Unfortunately, he pulls away pretty quickly, to look at me while he holds me in his arms.

'But you still missed Cal?' he asks me.

'Well, yeah, a little', I admit. 'He's been helping me out and we worked pretty well together. Is there no way he could come back? As my assistant or something, instead of my guard?'

'I'm sorry, Christina, with everything going on, I need every one of my Saviours ready for action. I had them send you one of the workers, didn't you like him?'

'No, yeah, Tom's alright', I mumble, trying to hide my disappointment. Never thought I'd miss Cal, but a lot has changed since I got here.

I don't think I'm hiding it too well, because Negan smiles at the look on my face. He kisses the top of my head and laughs.

'When things calm down, maybe you can get him back. But do you even need his help? I hear you've been recruiting more people to work for you.'

'Yeah, Myeong and Jake have been helping out', I answer a little nervously. 'That's not a problem, is it?'

'Of course not', he reassures me. 'I love how dedicated you are. Soon enough we'll have a whole hospital wing.'

I laugh at that. 'Let's hope we don't need one.'

'So why are you stressed, if it's not about your day?' he asks suddenly, turning back to his earlier question. 'Are you still not sure about being here?'

I bite my lip as I look up at him. The stupid thing is, I am sure that I want to be here. I'm also sure it's probably a bad idea. And I'm definitely sure that I'm being a bad sister by being here instead of staying with Ella.

'It's about Ella, mostly', I admit. 'She's pretty messed up about everything. She's worried about Carl, you know, he's her friend...'

'Carl's fine', Negan tells me quickly. 'You can tell her that.'