For my sister | Negan |

33 - You know what we should do?

'Remember, I wasn't supposed to tell you any of this', Cal whispers to me just before we reach Negan's room. 'But I didn't want it to catch you by surprise.'

'I understand', I say breathlessly. 'Thank you, Cal.'

He gives me a last supportive nod and then knocks on the door to announce our arrival. I take a deep breath. I don't know if simply denying everything is going to convince Negan. So I've come up with a plan. And pray to God he'll fall for it.

'Come in', Negan calls out gruffly. I can already hear by the sound of his voice that he's very angry. I get that, he lost a lot of people today and he's clearly lost control over not just Alexandria, but the Hilltop and the Kingdom as well. But none of that's my fault. If anything, it's his own. Not that I'll tell him that.

I take a last look at Cal, then open the door with a trembling hand. But as soon as I cross the threshold, it's time to shake the nerves and take on my role.

I waste no time and run straight to Negan as soon as I spot him in the middle of the room. It's probably the last thing he was expecting because he freezes up entirely when I throw my arms around his neck.

'Oh my God', I mumble into his neck. 'I've been so worried!'

I pull back a little to take his face into my hands and look at him closely.

'Are you okay?'

He looks at me in complete confusion, his hands hanging idly in the air. His mouth opens once, then closes again. A tiny flicker of hope blossoms in my heart. I wasn't sure if it'd be possible, but it looks like I've blindsided him. Just like I wanted.

Finally, he slowly puts his hands on my back, hesitantly accepting my embrace. Clearly, he's not sure what to make of this. I know I'm taking a risk here. I never forgot Cal's warning that Negan sees straight through bullshit. But I was worried I'd be too nervous to convince him that I didn't have anything to do with what happened if he'd get angry at me. So, I figured I'd try to not give him a chance to accuse me of anything at all.

'You were worried about me?' Negan asks, sounding somewhat skeptical.

'Of course', I say adamantly, making sure to look him straight in the eye. 'I've heard all kind of crazy shit. There was a tiger there?'

'Yeah', he mumbles. 'That fucking cat nearly got me.'

'Are you injured?' I ask worriedly, running my hands over his torso to check for injuries. He winces a little when I touch his side and I look up sharply.

'Oh! I'm so sorry', I say, quickly pulling back my hand.

'Take off your shirt, let me take care of you.'

The corners of his mouth pull up a little, but then drop down again. I can practically see the thoughts running through his head, trying to decide whether I'm being serious or not.

He wants it to be real. This is what he's wanted from me since the start. My devotion. And yesterday he thought he had it, but apparently everything that happened has made him doubt me again. But he has to be close to believing me, I can feel it. So I take one more action to pull him over the edge.

'I'm so glad you made it back', I whisper before I press my lips onto his. I can feel his hesitation melt away when he wraps his arms closer around me and kisses me back. I brush my thumb over his cheekbone and feel his hand travel up my back to my hair.

Even though this kiss isn't entirely honest, it still feels good. Once again, the line between acting and reality is thin. But maybe that's why it's so convincing.