+ 𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐄: 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐏 +

+ Love A Rollercoaster +

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Disclaimer: This will be a harsh review. However, like I said before, every new writer has it had loads of things to improve on, including myself. That is okay.

Title (6/10): From what I've read, what I assume is the idea behind the title makes sense. The relationship between Erica and Steven seems very rocky to me, much like a roller coaster. However, the words, "Love A Rollercoaster" doesn't make much sense for a title because 1) it is not technically grammatically correct and 2) it's not clear. What I suggest is changing it to something along the lines of, "Love Is a Rollercoaster" for greater sentence clarity.

Cover (2/10): I have no clue what the cover or its relevance to the plot. Is it a path? Are those pink blobs flowers? What's going on? Those were the questions I was asking myself as an almost reader to the chapters I read, and not the good kind.

What I suggest is referring to my explanation on how to make a cover that will be eye-catching in a review I did called 'Found', and as you're doing so remember that a cover that reflects relevance to what your book is about will increase the likelihood of your target audience clicking on your book.

Blurb (3/10): The blurb has the right idea: there's a description of the female protagonist and the male protagonist and the question of whether those two people will work out. However, the grammar and spelling in the blurb does not reflect a professional feel. This will steer just about any target audience away as well.

What I suggest to fix this will be in the grammar and spelling section.

Plot (2/10): The plot was very hard to follow for me. The grammar and spelling contributed to this in this in a big way, but it was also just hard to follow period. Nothing made any sense to me as a reader, and I was always confused on what was happening. I usually ended a chapter with a headache, trying to remember what I just read. So Erica lives with her mom, then she goes to a new work building, and then the rest of what happened is very unclear. It felt as though there was just events in a cup, and I can't tell what they are or how relevant they are in the long run. Basically, I had no idea what was happening.

I don't want this, or in fact any of this, to discourage you. I used to have the same effect on my readers even after three to four months of writing (I was also fourteen years old to give you perspective) A plot that is hard to follow is a common issue among new writers, who are freshly introduced to the world of writing. Often, we writers live in our own head, and when we write our scene down, we expect everyone to understand what we are saying. However, nine out of ten times that is not the case.

What I suggest is whenever you're writing or editing a scene, to ask yourself this question: will the reader understand what I'm writing? Writing a chapter timeline that organizes your thoughts yet gives you the freedom to write a powerful scene can help as well (let me know if you want more advice on this specific piece of information)

Characters (2/10): Because of the plot issues, I didn't know who the characters truly were to a showing point. I could only go off of the blurb to know who the characters were surface-level wise, and that was mainly caused by the writing style. The writing style told me the character's occupations, emotions if they were mentioned, etc.

What I suggest for both characters and writing style (because they tie into each other) is writing down your characters traits. What I mean by this is listing out their individual looks, occupations, personality, inner feelings, etc. Then write down ways to show it instead of telling it. For example, Erica Jade is a fashion designer. Instead of telling the reader this in chapter one, maybe start chapter one with her cutting fabrics and/or constructing new ideas for a dress she wants to make. Or Steven has anger issues, and that's shown when Erica walks through the doors of Venus company and immediately witnesses him throwing an expensive vase at the wall over something his secretary said.

That way, your characters can have more depth, but then the writing style could have the potential to be stronger and more colorful as well.

Writing style (3/10): (Mentioned above)

Grammar/Spelling (2/10): The grammar and spelling is the highest major issue of this book. The main errors are capitalization, flow of sentences, dialogue tags, and many other things that would take a while to point out.

What I suggest to fix this is going on YouTube and watching a couple videos on grammar and spelling, specifically in the area of writing (I had to do this as well when I first started out, too, and many writers had to as well) Looking up videos on dialogue will help you 1000% as well. Reading aloud some parts of your chapters will give you perspective on if it flows well, too; that's a tip to look into as well.

Chapter Length: For the reasons mentioned above, I believe this category couldn't necessarily be judged due to the substance issues. However, if you do decide to edit, a good rule of thumb is keeping your chapters between 500-1400 words (some may disagree, but this is the rule that I've seen so far)

If you work at your craft, I truly believe you have the potential to be a great writer. The way you interact with your followers is also admirable; you genuinely seem to care for every one of them, and that within itself is a beautiful thing. I genuinely don't want you to give up; I see a lot of myself as a newer writer in you (I still consider myself a new writer and I've been writing for almost three years lol), and I wish to see you succeed in the world of Wattpad and possibly publishing.

With that, I wish you a good writing journey!