Fill My Lungs | J. Todd ✔

[17] Not Alone

Sarah advised Valerie to be very cautious from then onwards. She too made sure not to leave her alone for long.

Garrett did not approach her but she was worried that he could be lurking around close to her and would strike when she least expected it. She knew he wasn't the sort of person to let go of grudges so the fact that he was in town was enough to make her get worried about everything.

Jason had come back to town as well but he hadn't contacted Valerie yet. He was still reeling from the aftermath of his previous mission with the Outlaws and did not want her to get worried about him again.

However, he went to the supermarket once, and coincidentally, it was time for Valerie's shift to end as well. So she joined him at the backdoor, her hand gently entwining through his.

"Long day at work?" He asked as her head gently rested against his shoulder and she took in a weary breath.

"Sort of," she replied, "how is your work going?"

"Not good," he mumbled, "but let's not talk about that."

"Fair enough."

She called Sarah to let her know that she was going to stay over at Jason's, receiving another lecture from her friend on being careful. When she put the phone down, he asked, "is your friend normally this protective over you, or did something happen to make her go all mother-hawk mode?"

She hesitated to answer which made Jason think that something definitely had happened. "Nothing happened, she's just looking out for me. I do the same for her."

He didn't push further, realizing she didn't want to talk about it. Just like she had let go of asking about his work, he stopped asking her about what had happened in the few days he was away. She didn't seem eager to share it with him and he wasn't the sort of guy to push it.

But it did make him a bit concerned. She looked exhausted and though she had been happy to see him, that lovely smile of hers seemed to be hiding something underneath.

He took her to his safehouse nevertheless and a similar course of events followed each time he brought her there.

He had missed the feel of her lips against his and as soon as he had locked the door of his room, he captured her lips with his own in a passionate kiss. She melted in the heat of his lips moving against her own, her hands clinging onto his shoulders and her legs wrapping around his waist.

For a brief moment, being close to him made her forget about Garrett and the other worrisome things in her life.

Like a drug, she let him block out every other feeling from her mind, filling her up with his scent, his thoughts, and his touch only.

She didn't notice that his kisses were slightly more desperate than usual, being apart from her for days had made him act on impulse. She didn't notice that he wasn't as gentle with her as he used to be either.

She just let him shut everything out, holding onto him as his mouth fastened on her lips and then trailed down to her neck, stealing her breath and every painful feeling away.

And just like that, she finally fell asleep in his arms after three sleepless nights. For some reason, she felt safe with him close to her, his arms offering her a safe haven to crawl into and block every other troublesome thought out.

She had been too worried in those past few days about Garrett but that night with Jason, she let go of all her worries, relaxing in his warm embrace. His lips touched her forehead in a delicate kiss as he held her close, pulling up the soft duvet to cover her.

Sometime in the middle of the night, she woke up, feeling cold as those warm protective arms were no longer wrapped around her. She sat up and got alarmed to see the bed empty beside her but then she calmed herself down, thinking he was probably in the bathroom.

She listened closely but there was no sound of water running coming from the bathroom and even the light was switched off. Valerie picked up her clothes from the foot of the bed, straightening to go and change then find him.

He had to be somewhere in the house, she knew he wouldn't leave her there on her own.

He was a man of secrets and even though that house seemed bare, she knew he had a lot to hide in there as well and wouldn't want her exploring his things on her own. So by default, he would never leave her alone as long as she was in his house.

She stepped into the bathroom and washed her face, making her partially numb senses wake up. Changing into her outfit from the night prior, she stepped out, considering whether or not to look for him.

Not wanting to intrude if he was busy, she decided to wait for him but ever since that episode with Garrett, she got scared of staying alone for long periods of time. So she slipped her feet into her shoes and creaked open the bedroom door to go find Jason.

The rest of the lights were off as well, shrouding the house in complete darkness. She felt her way around till she reached the kitchen, the second place aside from the bedroom that she knew very well ever since she had started coming there.

It was dark in the kitchen too but a silhouette by the counter was visible. She switched on a light, a dim yellow bulb breaking that darkness to see Jason sitting on a stool with an empty cup in front of him.

His arms were folded and his head was resting on top though it seemed he hadn't yet noticed her presence. However, he noticed the light and his eyes fluttered open, ocean blue connecting with her concerned grey.

She came to sit beside him, seeing that he hadn't lifted his head up from his arms. Something was definitely bothering him too that he hadn't told her just like she hadn't told him about Garrett.

Neither of them said a word as she gently put her arms around him, her head resting against his shoulder as she hugged him. She knew he wouldn't want to talk about it but would want to know that he wasn't alone because that was exactly what she wanted in the current situation too.

She couldn't share her past with him but just the thought of him being with her was enough for her to think that things would be okay soon. So she wanted him to know that as well and in her silent but comforting way, she conveyed it to him.

"You're not alone, Jay," she mumbled softly, "whatever you're going through, you will always have me there for you. I promise."

He took in a deep breath, his arms wrapping around her waist as he brought her close to him. He appreciated that gesture a lot and he wanted to say a lot more than just a thank you.

Jason's deepest fear was being left alone even though he had never admitted it or confided about it to anyone. Alone like he was on the night he had died, alone like he was in the League, and alone like he would have been if he hadn't joined the Outlaws.

But right then, Valerie was there, offering him comfort just like she always did, assuring him that he wasn't alone and that she would be there for him. He didn't know when or how but she had become a happy pill for him; a shortcut to forget all the chaos in his life and be in peace for as long as he was with her.

So each time he reached out to her, it was primarily for the purpose of gaining that comfort, peace, and calm she offered. As long as he was with her, he felt relaxed and the sort of peace she made his raging life come to was what he craved to keep with him forever.

His hands gently cupped her face as he kissed her tenderly, expressing all that gratitude and relief in that one moment. When he pulled apart, his eyes gazed into hers deeply as he whispered, "thank you. I will always be here for you too."

A soft smile flickered on her face as if hearing him say that had made her feel better too. She rested her head on his chest, her arms wrapping around him again as she closed her eyes. His fingers ran through her soft brown hair until she started to feel sleepy once again.

"I think we should go back to bed," he spoke, scooping her up in his arms as he carried her back to his room.

As he laid her down on the bed and brushed her hair out of her face, fingers lingering at her cheek, a realization crossed his heart and soul, refusing to fade.

He had fallen in love with Valerie Kayes; there was no denying it.

***