From Grief We grew (Only On Wattpad)

Chapter 58 Hayden

I sit on the armchair and watch as she sleeps soundly. After crying for what seemed like hours because Avery won't be with us on her birthday (tomorrow), Bea fell asleep around 9 a.m. after we returned from the police station. I, on the other hand couldn’t get sleep immediately. My mind was tangled in the mess we are in. Thoughts about how I’m going to solve this alone worried me but I didn’t show it out.
 
    I sigh and rub my palms together as I look around the small hotel room we are staying in. I notice my phone screen lighting up. It’s on silent so it doesn’t ring. I already know who it is. It’s the evening now, she would have been discharged by this. Knowing Teagan she would want me to come back even though it is risky. I don’t want her hurt. This is the only way I can protect her.
 
   The touch of cold hands startles me. I look at Bea. “Why didn’t you sleep in bed?” she asks with her hands on her hips. I Ignore her question and wrap my arms around her waist. I pull her close and bury my face in her stomach. I inhale her scent trying to find peace in it and I do.
 
   “Are you okay?”
 
   I hum in response. “I didn’t even realize I fell asleep on the chair.” I hear her chuckle. Followed by that her stomach grumbles. I pull away and look at her. “We should eat.” She nods. I stand up and grab my T-shirt to wear.
 
   “You are getting a call.” Bea holds out my phone.
 
   “Must be Teagan.”
 
   “No, it’s an unknown number. Could be the cops. Take it.”
 
   I obey and answer, “Hello?”
 
   “Hayden!” a childish voice says.
 
   “Hope?” I frown and Bea turns to look at me. “Whose number Is this?”
 
   “Uhhhhh. A friend's! Can you come to get me? I miss chu.”
 
   “Hope where are you?”
 
   “At me friend's party. I came for playtime. Now must go home but I want to see you. Mama won’t let me see you.”
 
    I sigh. I miss you too a lot… “Can you give the phone to your friend's mum?”
 
   “Uuhhhh she's in the kitchen. Uhh she said will send you the address.”
 
   Why is she hesitating? I hear whispers in the background. “Are you okay?” could she be in danger? I quickly gesture for Bea to follow and walk out of the door.
 
   “Yes me is good.” Her voice doesn’t sound scared though.
 
   “Okay send me the address right away. I’ll be there.”
 
    I fill in Bea as we make our way to my car. I get in and read the address she sent. Froyo shop, 42, Hartlet Street. “What if Mira-“ I quickly shake my head not letting Bea finish. “Hopefully,” she whispers as I take off.
 
   I park the car and get down. I look around and spot the froyo shop on my right. I point to it and take Bea's hand ready to cross the road when I hear Bea's voice, “Hayden!” I turn around and I’m surprised to see Bea isn’t alone. “Hayden.” The person's voice is much sterner. I feel Bea squeezing my hand and I squeeze hers.
 
   My father looks at her and smiles. “Hello Mr. Fenwick,” she greets and to my surprise, he says back kindly, “Hello Bea. Happy New Year to you.” He holds out his hand and she shakes it.  Seeing that we said our hellos, Hope jumps into my arms and kisses my cheeks. For a minute I forget about my dad and just focus on my sister. I pepper her face with kisses and she giggles. “I missed you so much,” I whisper teary-eyed.
 
   She huffs, “Me too. It no fun without chu.” Then she turns and looks at Bea. “I miss chu too. Mama doesn’t sing nice.” Bea chuckles, tears evident in her eyes too. She takes the child from me and presses her cheeks to Hope's as she hugs her. Then she kisses her. “I missed you too baby. I missed singing with you,” Bea tells her.
 
   My father clears his throat grabbing our attention. “Bea why don’t you take Hope and go get you two some froyo?” he suggests and fetches for his purse.
 
   Bea holds out her hand. “It's okay.” She looks at Hope and smiles. “Shall we baby?”
 
   “What about Hayden?”
 
   “I will come in a few minutes, baby. You go with Bea.” Bea looks at me. I nod and she nods. Then she turns on her heel and walks away. I look at my dad. He gestures to my car and I nod. We both get in and sit down. Only then do I notice that he is holding a bag. He places it on his lap and takes a cup from it. He hands it to me. I mutter thanks and take it. When my lips taste the sweetness of the lime tea, I hum and gulp it feeling my hunger dissipate a little. My father probably sensed it because he asks, “Did you eat?” I shake my head as I finish the drink. He sighs and hands me his cup too. I don't resist. I just thank him and take it.
 
   “So when did you come back?” I ask trying to start a conversation.
 
   “This morning. When did you leave?” I look at him. “The Jones house.” So he knows. I take a sip buying time to study his face. He doesn’t look agitated like he usually does during our fights. He looks rather calm instead. “Around 2 or 2.30,” I reply.
 
   I expect him to say something. For the lecture to start but nothing comes. I tap my feet impatiently not knowing what to do. “Can we just get to the point? You didn’t make Hope lie just to have tea with me-“
 
   “Can't a father want to sit and have Tea with his son?” I squint my eyes wondering if he’s being serious or sarcastic. He probably notices my skepticism for he says something even more surprising, “I missed you.”
 
   I blink. Ever since my brother died my father has never told me he missed me let alone did we sit and have tea like this together. Minus the time we went to the bar and tried to bond. But that’s it. I can’t help but think there is some sort of motive behind his words. So I be upfront with him, “Look if you are trying to be nice and make me feel bad for everything, it isn’t going to work. I love Bea and I will not leave her no matter what.”
 
   “Do you hate me?”
 
   “What?” I frown. “No! I never did. If I hated you, I wouldn’t be sitting here in the car with you knowing how things are going to go.”
 
   “We argued a lot, didn’t we?” I look at him and hum. “I'm sorry for being so hard on you,” he whispers looking at the road. Then he turns to look at me as he continues, “You were dealing with your own pain but instead of being there, I projected everything on you. That was very selfish of me-“
 
   “Where are you going with all this? And why are you telling me this only now? We've been okayish-“
 
   “Since Bea came,” he cuts me off. “First I thought she was trying to sugarcoat me. You have no clue how many times she told me that I raised you well. Which was ironic because I feel like I was barely ever there. After your mum died, I turned into a workaholic and you became rebellious. Then your brother died and I shut you out completely blinding myself from seeing how you started to change. But Bea's words were like small knocks to reality. Ever so lightly I would peak to see and I noticed it. Your music changed. You stopped hanging out with those boys I hated. You didn’t drink. You took care of your sister. You never skipped college.”
 
   As he spoke, I look outside watching Bea play with Hope in the shop. “But I still couldn’t understand why Bea was telling me until I saw you cry over her and I understood you loved her. So I spoke to her the next day. My ego got me thinking you were telling a stranger about me.” I rolled my eyes. “I wanted to know what. So I invited her over for dinner.”
 
   So that’s why she never called me that night. “You know what she told me when I asked her whether or not you were complaining about me?” I finally look at him. “Hayden is like a sponge. He only absorbs people's pain without leaking out." He pauses and I take a glance at the girl in the shop. "Katherine has tried many times to fix our relationship but I never let her words get through me. But two sentences from Bea was all it took to open my eyes. You could have left, You could have been what you wanted but instead, you chose to be someone you thought I like. Do what I like. And yet I never sort to appreciate you.”
 
   I notice tears in his ears. I look away not being able to control my own. I quickly wipe my cheeks and stare at Bea. She waves her hand and Hope mimics her. I smile as more tears roll down my eyes. “I-I saw it in your eyes,” I whisper. “Small moments like when I signed the application. When you saw me drawing. I saw pride in your eyes. That was enough,” I tell him truthfully.
 
   “You know what I’m more proud of?” I wipe my cheeks and look at him. “Watching your gigs and seeing you fight for the woman you love. I’m proud of the man you’ve become even though I didn’t raise you well enough-“ I shake my head as I cling onto him. My dad wraps his arms around me and I feel a small weight in my chest disappear. 
 
   I pull away and wipe my cheeks. I notice tears in his eyes too. “I learned so much from you. Your music influenced me. You thought me how to be strong. You never gave up on Mum when she fell sick. You fought so hard to keep her alive and keep us happy Dad. Yes, Zay took over after Mum died but in an indirect way, you were always my hero. Hayden was mine, and you were his.”
 
   He nods smiling happily and wipes his tear. Right then my stomach growls again. “Let's go home. Katherine cooked your favourite beef roast and chicken curry.”
 
   “Dad, I can’t leave Bea…”
 
   “I didn’t ask you to. I won’t ever make you do anything you do not love ever again and I promise you this. Now go bring that girl and let’s go home-“ I find myself nodding but then I remember who we are dealing with and cut him off, “I don’t think it is safe. Mira could hurt someone again.”
 
   He pats my shoulder. “I'm here now. I won’t let anyone lay a finger on my family. We'll figure this out together. When we go home, I’ll call my brother and see what can be done.”
 
   Just like that, I felt hopeful again and less alone.