Do you need anything? Monster asked as I got out the shower.
Yeah for you to leave me the fuck alone! I yelled as a contraction hit me. I stood frozen for a second and waited for it to pass by. I took deep breaths and grabbed my towel. I don't know if I was going to make it to the hospital.
He handed me my towel and wrapped his arm around my back to help support me as I tried to hold myself up and make it to his room. I took a seat on the bed and I felt extremely lightheaded and dizzy.
Do you need me to call the doctor or anything? He asked standing in front of me as he scratched his head.
Ja'Kari we've had 3 children and you been there for all three of their births WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?!
I don't know Queen you pissed with me right now and I don't know what kinda birth your having, the plan is it a boy of girl?! Shit I don't know a fuckin thing. Any other time you would of told me what to do.
I honestly just want you to leave me alone.
Well I'm not gonna do that! Listen to me real quick please.
Monster I am in labor do you honestly think I want to hear any fucked up ass shit you got to say right now. Like please.....
QUEEN YOU GONNA LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN TO ME NOW! ALL THIS BACK AND FOURTH SHIT IS STOPPING RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY FUCKIN HEART. And I'm sorry for what I did to you and how I treated you and all the secrets I held from you. I was dead ass and I mean dead ass fuckin wrong. But I can't change nor take back any of the shit I did. I am truly and I mean truly sorry for what I did. I wish I could change back time. I knew your story and hurt you way worse than any man in your life did, you know I deserve every fuckin thing bad in this world. And I don't disagree with that. But you couldn't even have kids and now we are about to bring our third child into this world. Despite of everything going on right now between us. Despite all the lies and cheating. Despite of everything I am asking you as a man to let me be apart of this baby life and your life and raise our family together how we once did before. Cause I am going to be here for you. I am going to love you and these kids like I've always been! I'm asking for a second chance right here right now! We ain't bringing this baby in to this world on this bad ass note.
So what do you say Queen? Put everything behind us? For good! Fuck it! Just us...starting over fresh!? I promise on my life to do you right!
Ja'Kari! I yelled his name snapping at him. I was having contractions back to back now and they was so intense.
Tell me something! He said eagerly. I stood up and grabbed him by his shirt twisting it up bringing him down to my level.
I AM HAVING A FUCKIN BABY IF YOU DON'T GET ME TO A FUCKIN HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO CUT YOUR BALLS OFF AND FEED THEM TO YOU WITH BREAST MILK! I yelled at him with gritted teeth. My only concern was bring this baby into the world and making sure the health was in tip top shape. Because I've been through hell these past few months. If anything was to come from this is that my baby was gonna be okay. He picked me up bridal style and carried me downstairs and to the door. He placed my feet on the ground as we reached the car. He opened the door for me and a contraction hit me so hard I started to cry.
I don't think I'm gonna make it!
Yes you will. He reassured me grabbing my face and looking me in my eyes. "I love you, you got this!"
I got in the car and he pulled his phone out and called my doctor to tell her I was in labor. I tried to breathe through my pain the whole way to the hospital. I just knew I wasn't gonna make it. He carried me from the car all the way upstairs to labor and delivery. My doctor was meeting me at the door when I arrived. The placed me in a wheelchair and took me to an exam room. I was already 5cm dilated. I can't believe I was about to do this all over again. I was having a baby! My 5th and final love child. They gave me an epidural and got me to a delivery room. When I got in there Monster was in there already waiting for me. He had the most scared look on his face as our child heart beat played on the monitors. He had that look on his face when Prince was born. That scared nervous look. I wasn't sure if I wanted him here for this birth but I know it would hurt him deeply if he wasn't. My sanity is what mattered the most to me.
I wish this all was a bad dream and I could wake up from it and when I do everything would be normal again and the past few years of my life was gone.
Do I give him another chance? Or do I just leave him for good. I'm not sure on how I would get over all these secrets and lies he kept from me. How will I know he's not going to do it again?
I know he was sorry and ment it the look in his eyes said it all. But I don't know....
