The Benefits- Jikook

Chapter 58: Another whole, not half

When Jungkook disappeared from the chat and stopped replying. That time. The guy named Ray was already in the scene. Jungkook stopped replying, which happened at the same time Ray started to be flaky after the first time they had sex.

A lesson learned. A man can do anything to get in his pants, even though that means driving two hours to see Jimin. Sex with Ray. Well, at first, Jimin was so happy with their sex since Ray treated him gently with his touch. Jimin was attached to Ray. He was attached to the idea of being treated gently. Jimin was attached to the idea of getting cuddled to sleep. Something he thought he didn't get from Jungkook. Something he desperately wanted later was rejected with Ray's excuses.

Things didn't go as expected. From driving two hours long just to see Jimin to not replying to text. Ray started to fade, and Jimin convinced himself that Ray was just busy. The cuddles Jimin expected to have with Ray were postponed again and again.

It was cold in San Francisco. It froze Jimin's heart and body. The coldness might be because of the weather, being far away from home, or just simply because of the absence of Jungkook. Ray was someone Jimin believed would be a replacement.

It became more clear that Ray was not being honest. Hours of waiting. Million times glancing at the phone. Nothing. It became crystal clear later when Jimin finally told himself the truth that Ray's worse than Jungkook. He's a fuck buddy. Nowhere close to friends with benefits, judging from how Ray left immediately every time they had sex. Ray even started to refuse to kiss. The hanging out Ray promised never actually happened.

Lost. Jimin could always remember the pain he felt clearly in his chest when Ray walked away, rushing. Ray was gone, and Jungkook stopped replying.

Jimin was using so much energy focusing on guys with the same goal. To prove that there's someone better than Jungkook. That's how deeply Jimin was in love with his best friend.

What about school? School was not at all in his focus. Jimin was living his life meaningless. It was shameful for Jimin to think about it later, but he decided to embrace his journey. Taehyung was there, but his soulmate is not the type to push him to study. Taehyung made sure Jimin wasn't feeling alone though since Jimin always shut people down. He was not interested in being friends with someone new. It was uncomfortable.

Life was not being put together. Late turned in assignments. Failing classes. Being absent. Parties, nightclubs and shopping malls. Those were Jimin's focus. First one night stand happened, and that's the last one night stand. The walk of shame was cold and well, painfully shameful.

Dating app was fun until Jimin made it clear that he wanted to get to know each other first before sex. Those guys would either ghost on Jimin, or they would try to have sex with Jimin the first time they meet. They know no boundaries. Therefore, dating apps ruined the mood completely since then.

And then this one guy showed up. Eric is a Swedish who was Jimin's classmate in the same major, who walked into Jimin's life and gave Jimin hope. Eric loves to read. Good taste in food. Good taste in fashion. He's an athlete. He's also very smart. Romantic. His eyes. Oh god. His eyes were so dreamy.

They flirted. Eric offered Jimin's flowers when they met in class. He always made sure to give his obvious glance at Jimin. He finally asked Jimin out on dates, and Jimin agreed. Jimin liked him. For months, they felt lustful. They made out a lot, but they didn't get to do anything further than that because later, one day, Eric started to fade. Jimin figured out later that he went back to his ex-boyfriend.

A lot of crying over and over. Did Jimin like Eric that much? Not so much that he had to cry so hard. It was simply because the idea of someone better than Jungkook is gone again.