Dark Saint [Romano Brotherhood, #1]

19 | Nina

I know the trust that exists between Santo and his brothers is something otherworldly, but it seems witnessing Massimo and Santo at true and genuine odds is something I'm becoming accustomed to. It's my fault, after all.

When Massimo presses me against the ropes, I can't help it. My limbs become useless and I'm filled with a cold terror. The look in his eyes is so chilling, so empty, that I can't even be sure he sees this as sparring. I'm convinced he doesn't. He doesn't let me go until Santo rips him away. I stand in the corner trying to slow my breathing as Santo stands between us defensively.

"She's not going to learn unless she faces the opponent that scares her the most," Massimo states calmly.

"It's been one week. We'll work up to that. Back the fuck up."

"She could be faced with a worse opponent than me tomorrow. What then?"

Santo tenses, his voice coming out in a deadly rumble. "She's had enough."

A tense silence envelops the room before Massimo nods once. His eyes flick to me. "I don't commit mindless acts of violence, Nina. We stand to gain nothing from hurting you, so you will remain unharmed."

Yet you won't stop trying to get rid of me, will you?

I don't know how, but I find my voice. "All I ask is that next time you send me away, you at least give me some cash."

Santo tenses but I lift my chin, watching the Capo. He tilts his head. "Next time I send you away, you will stay gone." 

He leaves the room, his rigid figure completely unbothered. In a flurry of sudden violent curses, Santo is storming after him. I couldn't be more grateful that I won't be around for that conversation. 

In the days following, for my own sanity, I try to understand Massimo. I realize that if I think of things logically, I can begin to tamp down my fear of the Capo. For him, emotions aren't involved in his regard of me. Logically, it makes sense that he'd not need to hurt me. Fear can be perhaps the most potent emotion humans feel, so it isn't easy, but I don't freeze every time he walks into the room anymore. Even if I'm still uncomfortable with the knowledge that he doesn't approve of my presence, at least I know I don't have to worry about rounding a corner in the house and being stabbed to death.

It's a step towards managing my fear that I never expected I'd be able to take. And I decide not to think about the fact that it feels more possible with the presence of one large, violent man who talks to me through book quotes and protects me from his brothers. 

I'm sitting in my favorite room of the house, the library, when Santo walks in one morning. I've been working my way through a minuscule portion of the books they have. I think it would take a few lifetimes to read them all—but I've decided to focus on The Brothers Karamazov for right now. There are many notes scribbled on its pages but most are so faded with time that I can't make them out.

"Tommaso is going to take you shopping," Santo announces, his commanding presence sucking all the air from the room. "I have business to attend to, and you need clothes. Get whatever you want. And do not, under any circumstances, leave his side. Okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it," I say a little too sarcastically, and he raises a brow. "Oh, come on. Where would I even go?"

He's glowering now. "I better not hear of any trouble, Nina."

"I'm not going to try and escape," I tell him truthfully, and his shoulders seem to relax. "I can really get whatever I want?"

He nods.

"What if I want to spend, like, thousands of dollars?"

"You could spend millions and we'd be fine, tesoro."