Thy Will, Not Mine

Chapter {31} Destiny

"He is the literal definition of beautiful and he could have any girl he wanted but me? That was quite an astonishing discovery that I found," eventually we walked into the church, grabbing our bags and bidding everyone goodbye on our way out, and my eyes never strayed from looking for Nio, who I had thought might have realised he was just making a mistake by wanting to talk to me and thought of a way to escape but thankfully and to my relief he was nowhere to be seen and so were Giovanni and pretty little Avelina.

"Thato, have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You are beautiful and besides, who wouldn't want to be with a smart mouth like yourself?" I answered her previous question as we waited for the Uber we had requested.

And Thato being my best friend just gave me a stink eye, "Was that supposed to be a compliment? Because if it was, then that's a lame one." She playfully rolled her eyes, a slight smile grazing her lips.

"What a way to hurt your best friend's feelings," I feigned being hurt with a hand on my chest, seems like she had rubbed off of me but in a good way.

"Girl, you should not consider acting," Thato laughed clutching at her stomach as I followed suit, laughing at my awful acting and in no time watched as our Uber pulled up.

"But seriously though, talk to him about your feelings, I mean if I could do it then surely you can do it as well," I explained looking at Thato who looked at me with uncertainty but knowing my best friend, I knew she would do it, even if it meant letting go of her pride.

"You're right! I will talk to him, I mean how difficult could it possibly be right?" she reaffirmed herself and I nodded my head though knowing the pain of rejection but we could do all things through Christ who strengthened us including this.

***

Incoming call from Samuel...

My caller ID read, surely surprising me. We had not spoken in weeks, just a regular greeting here and there in the corridors because he had suddenly went absent without leave not that he needed leave to go anywhere but he just disappeared without a trace, without a single phone call or anything to inform us that he was leaving but I guess such was life.

"Hello?" I answered busying myself with my anatomy and physiology book.

"Destiny! How is my favourite girl?" His enthusiasm was baffling, how could we not be talking and suddenly have the most beautiful relationship or friendship?

"I'm good thanks, how are you?" I could not bring myself to question his motives behind the call.

"Couldn't be happier! Though I could've been much happier if you were next to me," his response was almost immediate, joyous enough to break my seed of doubt but still add more questions to the heap of questions I had already had.

"What do you mean?" I asked, it was not like we were closed-knitted or something but him saying he would've been much happier with me around, created an unsettling knot in my stomach so much that I closed my books.

After a long pause of no answer and ultimately the call being disconnected. I was about to call to him when my ear pods rang loudly only for me to find out that Samuel was video calling me.

"Samuel?" I questioned as I viewed him from the other side of the phone, he looked like he had just come out of the shower, his blond hair dampened against his scalp, as my eyes gazed downward, they immediately shut closed as he was not wearing a shirt. Nothing at all to hide his chest.

"Yes?" He replied ever so innocently as though oblivious to the fact that he had not covered up his chest area and my eyes were closed.

"C-could you p-please put on your shirt?" This was all too weird from my side because I was not used to seeing men my age without shirts, the only man whose chest I had seen was my father's.

"Oh, please give me a second! I will go look for a shirt," a moment later, I heard him rummaging through his cupboards, as they open and shut swiftly when he pulled on their knobs.

"You can open your eyes now," I slowly opened my eyes knowing how it would feel to quickly open them and have to adjust to the colour change and he gave me a lopsided grin as his hand hung on the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," something about his tone did not sound too apologetic, perhaps, it was because I was reading too much into it, as long as he had acknowledged his mistake and was apologising.

"It's okay." I threw the matter under the carpet though it had not sat right with me.

"Okay," he sighed. "In the previous voice call you asked me why I would be happier if you were right beside me," he sat down on his king-sized bed in the background, running his hand through his stubble as if not having the correct words to say and contemplating whether or not to even talk me whatever was gnawing at his mind.

"Fact is, Destiny, I have loved you since the first day we met," utterly astounded would be an understatement as an involuntary gasp escaped from my lips. "I knew that you would be shocked but I thought you were beautiful and strong-headed, determined and everything I could possibly need but I could also see that you were different from other girls, you did not chase behind boys neither did you seek attention but attention sought for your presence and I knew I could not downright approach you so us being friends was the only way I could get to know you better and you know me better."

Was I supposed to be sorrowful that the friendship I thought was real was only a hoax to, I don't know, get to know me better, or engage in fornication? Or was I supposed to rejoice that there was at least one person who found me attractive enough to approach me, even if it was indirectly?

"Please don't take this the wrong way, my approach might've been wrong in every other way but my motives were pure, I did not do it to get into your pants but it was because I loved you, and I still do. I know that this might be a lot to process and I will give you some time to think about it," his blue eyes full of life and joy. His mop of blonde hair stood atop his head, his full beard made his baby face look more masculine. He was attractive, handsome even but the face of a certain man kept invading my thoughts.

Thato's words rang through my head, I did deserve some love, right? What did I stand to lose either way?

"I will go out with you, just to get to know you better, " I said confidently, without thinking twice and patting myself on the back for not shying out or stuttering through my words.

"What, did you just say what I think you did?" His blue orbs toke on a lighter and more joyous gleam.

I chuckled, "Yes, I would like to go out with you and get to know you better but I'm not promising anything." I told the plain and honest truth, if my heart could not be given to him then the relationship would not go anywhere.

"That's all I could ever ask for," he gave me a full grin, showing his straight white teeth.

I hope this went in the Lord's way but, what did I stand to lose anyway?