{Percy Jackson Fanfic} Water Lily and the Ocean's Blessing

Chapter Eighteen: Get Out of My Head

Chanting the same words.

Weak. Weak. Weak.

'Please stop, please stop.'

Nothing was comprehending. Nothing.

'Get it out of my head, get it out of my head.'

My way of coping has always been repeating. Because maybe, if you say it a certain amount of times, it'll come true.

Something warm wraps around me.

I don't care.

I don't care about anything anymore.

I just want everything to go back to normal.

But nothing would ever be normal anymore. After everything that had happened, I doubt that I could even call myself similar to the girl who loved books with all of her heart.

I still love books though. I guess that's still normal.

This was the lowest I'd ever been. I'd never felt so . . . uninspired. Never felt so upset with fate.

When it all seems too hard

And you are crippled with fear

The best course of action

Is to simply persevere.

I don't know why I thought of it. I just did. It was a poem by Ms Moem. Our class name in Year Six is going to be Moem.

Where I remembered it from, I don't know. But the poem helps. It shines a glimmer of hope into my world of darkness.

And it makes me think of my class. I would hate them to see me like this. My class would be so disappointed if I gave up, wouldn't they?

Gods, my class. I miss them more than anything.

'Lily!'

'Lily, can you hear me?'

I open my eyes. Fortunately, I manage to stop myself from crying.

There's a blue blanket wrapped around my shoulders, but I'm still shivering.

'It's going to be okay,' says Annabeth, smiling gently. Her voice was soft and empathic, as if she understood and related to what I was going through. She probably did, knowing how many quests she'd been on.

I think we all face this feeling sooner or later. This feeling that you'll never be happy again, that you're forever trapped in darkness's cold grip. It's easy to fall into, but hard to get out. Right now, I'm facing its wrath. And I can't take it anymore. This needs to end.

I begin to shake my head. 'It's not okay. It never is.'

The words were a fragile whisper.

Persevere.

That's the thing. I've always persevered. For myself, and for others. It's tiring, but I've always managed to do it.

Yet the world is cruel. However much you fight, it will always find a way to turn everything against you. The world is cold and cruel, and I hate it.

I'm not enough for this world. I was never enough in the first place.

Not enough.

Not enough.

The words echo in my mind, loud and clear.

Not enough.

This has to end. All of it.

Not enough.

I cover my ears, hoping, begging it to stop.

Not enough.

Please stop.

Not enough.

Stop.

Not enough.

'STOP!' I yell. Uncovering my ears, I can hear my voice echo around the Underworld.

'Lils.'

I take a deep breath. Then another. Percy and Annabeth were staring at me, looking both surprised and concerned.

I don't think I'd ever yelled like that before. Hopefully it'll be the last time.

Actually, it will be the last time.

I bring out my pen. Euloyia.

I take off her lid, and she turns into a sword. I watch as she glints and shines ever so elegantly. She'd always been so beautiful.

'Lily, what are you doing?' Percy says cautiously, though a hint of panic lies in his voice.

Both he and Annabeth had taken out their weapons, expecting a battle.

They were wrong.

I press Euloyia's point to my chest.