For my sister | Negan |

51 - You're a hero

Well, he was right. We made it. But that was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. I closed my eyes and held on to Negan's hand for fear life when he let the walkers in. I only opened them again when Negan started tugging at my hand because we could start walking towards the Sanctuary.

I tried to ignore the dead eyes scanning my face and the rotten bodies brushing up against me. I focused on breathing.

One breathe.
Two breaths.
Three.
Four.
Five.

It was actually working. The walkers paid us no mind as we walked right past them. We were almost at the platform and Negan never let go of my hand, like he promised. But then...

I stumbled. My foot got caught under a piece of debris, my hand slipped out of his and before I knew it, I was catching myself on the ground. Immediately, the walkers reacted. But Negan was faster. I screamed when Lucille swung right past my head and took out a walker ready to take a bite out of me.

Next thing I knew, his hand was under my armpit and he dragged me up. Maybe I was wrong before. Maybe he is a superhero. Because somehow he got us out of there before they could get a hold of us, even though there were so much more than when he brought us to that trailer. Honestly, I hardly registered what was happening until he flung open a door and dragged me inside. A few walkers slipped in with us, but he flung his body against the door to close it again and took out the ones that got in with impressive ease.

Now, I look up into his smiling face. He's absolutely crazy. Grinning away like this was some sort of fun exercise.

Then I feel it coming up my throat. I push him out of the way and hold on to a banister as I double over and throw up. Maybe it's the fear, maybe it's the smell of rot that I'm not sure will ever leave my nostrils again. Maybe it's both. It comes again and again and I can hardly breathe as my body keeps convulsing.

Still, I notice when Negan walks over and rubs his hand over my back.

'It's okay, baby. It's over now. We just gotta get rid of those disgusting clothes and take a shower and we'll be good as new.'

Good as new? I'm not sure I'll ever recover from this. Tears and snot have mixed with the walker blood on my face. When my body finally stops heaving, I step away from Negan and take a seat on the stairs. Then I rip at my ruined blouse and tear it apart to get it off of my body, revealing my relatively clean tanktop. At least that makes me feel a little better.

'Where the hell is everybody?' I ask, looking up at Negan with bloodshot eyes. How on earth does he look so invigorated? Sure, he's gross, covered in all those guts, but other than that, he just looks fierce somehow. Judging by the pitiful look on his face, the same can't be said for me.

'That's a good fucking question', Negan says, looking around the deserted hall of the Sanctuary. The place is usually filled with workers going about their business. Now, it's eerily empty.

Then, the sound of a gunshot coming from the level above us, makes us both look up sharply.

'Guess we'll find somebody there', Negan says, sounding unbothered. Personally, I don't feel so calm. I was so focused on my own troubles being stuck in that trailer, it didn't even cross my mind that shit might be going down here as well.

I jump back to my feet and start to make my way up the stairs. But a hand grabs my arm to make me stop and I look back at Negan with exasperation in my face.

'You heard that gun going off, did you not?' I ask him sharply.

'Whatever it is, it can wait a damn second', he responds. Then he takes a step up the stairs to meet me and looks at me with unexpected vulnerability.