The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part Two

XXXII: December 24, 1993

"Remus."

The vial of wolfsbane potion hit the flagstone and shattered. Glass and potion sprayed over Remus Lupin's feet, and he stepped back in surprise, his hands raising palm-up, back hitting the wall as he looked in shock at the form of Sirius Black laying across the bed.

Sirius wore the Azkaban uniform still, the fabric dirty, worn, and horribly ragged from months on the run. His hair hung in stringy clumps, and his face was sunken in, the skin of his cheeks seemed stretched over hollow frames of cheek bones. He was pale and rail thin.

"Sirius," Remus's voice shook. He glanced at the desk where his wand lay.

Sirius sat up. He followed Remus's gaze to the wand. "Go ahead and pick it up if it makes you feel better. I know you always hated being unarmed."

Remus stared at him, his eyes flicking to Sirius's own wand laying on the mattress beside him.

Sirius half raised his head to follow the gaze again. "What? You're worried about me having mine?" he laughed and sat up, crossing his legs, and picked up his wand. He looked it over carelessly, then looked at the nervous look on Remus's face. "Here -" and he chucked it across the floor so that it clattered to a stop at Remus's feet. "Better?"

Remus took two quick steps and picked up his own wand from the desk, holding it in his fit and leveling it at Sirius.

Sirius raised his eyebrow. "Because a man who's about to attack and kill you throws his wand to his feet these days? Times have changed in twelve years, haven't they, Remus?"

Remus lowered the wand, feeling foolish, but he did keep it in his hand. He bent down and plucked Sirius's wand from the floor and looked it over. "They didn't snap it," he murmured. He ran his thumb over the etching - Sirius's prisoner number had been cut deep into the black walnut wood. Remus felt sick staring at the numbers.

Gebo. Algiz. 390.

Those runes had haunted his sleep for months after he had first seen them. He turned his face quickly away from the wand, tossing the wand back to the bed, and turning away completely, giving his back to Sirius Black, overcome.

Sirius left the wand where it landed, his palms on his knees, staring at Remus's back.

He was wearing tweed trousers and white button up shirt and suspenders.

The suspenders.

"Remus," he said.

Remus didn't turn.

Sirius stared all the harder... then said, quietly, "Moony."

Remus let out a whimper and his palm shot out to catch his weight against the wall.

"Don't call me that," Remus whispered, voice thick and low, but trembling just the same. "Don't call me that - not now, not after twelve years have passed... not after what you did."

Sirius laughed. "What I did..." he shook his head. "WHAT I DID?!" Sirius got up quickly, standing beside the bed. He grabbed his wand and walked quickly across the room, right up behind Remus so that their bodies were touching.

Remus steeled. He closed his eyes, keeping dead still.

Sirius leaned in, hands on the wall beside Remus's, chest against Remus's back. "What did I do? Tell me."

Remus was unable to speak.

"Tell me, Remus... Tell me how I turned and went bad, how I went the way of my dear, darling family, how I went toujours pur in the end. Go on and tell me how I went and sold out James and Lily and Harry... How I was the traitor. Go on... Tell me how right your were all along. Tell me."