Babysitting The Special Agents

19: Something Unexpected Changes Everything (1)

-LACONNI-

I sit in the kitchen, completely alone for the first time since I arrived here. Every one of my agents is out on the field, Obalari and Fizz are in some hideout somewhere, tucked away to do their work in a place that they can be traced or tracked that means we won't have to leave abruptly again. Ryker is out undercover, Thufex and Blue are doing their mission.

It's an information collecting mission, much to Blue's disappointment. She said it had been too long since she'd last beaten someone up. I've learned that being her friend doesn't mean you see less of her violent side; it just means that the violence is (mostly) not directed at you.

When I first walked into that waiting space and met them, I did not expect them to ever get as close to me as they did. There are still things that they don't know about me and I'm certain that there's lots I don't know about them, but we have time and for once I don't feel like these friendships are costume jewels masquerading as real ones. They aren't friends with me because they pity me for losing my mother, or because their parents told them to be nice to me or because I was convenient. Which is ironic, as they're the only friends I've ever been paid to be around.

And sure, perhaps I was convenient but not one of them had to be my friend as much as they have. They didn't need to open up to me or protect me or choose me. All the contract said was that we were to tolerate each other, to work together.

I pull out a piece of paper and a pen to write to my dad. It would be easier to use a mimy, to record a message for him to play back but he says he'd rather letters. Betha and Tavish don't mind mimys and we talk frequently through them, but my dad will always choose a letter even though he has a mimy for work.

I write about everything and nothing simultaneously, my letter is the equivalent of making a steak pie but using a vegetarian substitute and not telling anyone it's meat free. I tell him that I've finally befriended the colleague I was having trouble with, that they're happy with my work so far, that I've been speaking different languages so often that my accents are improving rapidly, that I'm learning dishes from all over the lands, that I'm really enjoying my job.

I don't tell him that my first aid and healing skills are being put to good use, that I sat with the troublesome friend while she had a panic attack, that I'm on Mishgest and that I love the style of their houses, so warm and fuzzy. I don't tell him that there is a mole who's endangering the lives of more people than I could ever comprehend one person being able to harm, that I'm happy but terrified.

I read over my letter but it seems empty. I feel like my dad, my siblings, they're slipping away from me. At least when I was home and job hunting I could see them whenever I fancied but now I can't even tell them about my day.

I miss you. I write but the words don't do the ache inside me justice. I sign off and place it in an envelope, it seals itself and I write the address before triple tapping one of the knots in the wood above the table's legs. It slides open to reveal a tube that sucks my letter down to be checked by Sal before it is posted.

I lean back, debating whether or not to bake something when the kitchen light flashes black. My heart thuds. Ryker is trying to contact us. Oh, sweet baby potatoes. I push out the chair and run upstairs, sliding in my striped socks as I reach the water cupboard and hurry to the secret room.

A machine asks for my identification and I huff out, "Laconni Esterean," fear gripping me as I wait to be let in, the minute the security measures open I hurry to the desk. I push the purple button and speak, "Agent T1, this is Homenest is everything ok?"

"No." His voice crackles over the line and dread fills me.

"What's wrong, how can I help?"

"No, no. Yes. Everything's ok with me but Co—Homenest you have to go."