Dear Insanity

xTake Me Homex

"R-"

"Alexxa, who's there?" Gabriel appears over my shoulder, peeking out. "Ah, food!" He exclaims, rubbing his hands together before taking it from Chase. His face regains some of it's color, and he hands it over gratefully.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else." He apologizes. I smile tightly, handing him the twenty dollars we owe, and close the door behind me before allowing my own face to pale. "You okay?" He asks, rice already stuffed into his mouth. I nod, swallowing hard and sitting on the couch.

Gabriel sends me strange glances as I eat my lomaine straight from the box, wooden chopsticks in hand. He looks in wonder that a girl like me could care less what's in my food, more concerned of the taste and wether or not it has meat in it. A laugh escapes his lips as I hand him  a single noodle at his request, not willing to share the first good food i've had in years. "How do you use those?" He asks, gesturing to my chopsticks with his metal fork.

I shrug, crinkling my nose as another piece of shrimp gets into my mouth. Putting it onto the paper napkin on the table, Luna sighs. "I thought I ordered the vegan lomaine.." She mutters, sighing. "Oh, well. There's always next time." She sits indian style on the floor, focused on the television as The Walking Dead plays on it in black and white. I'm pretty into it, too, but the whole colorless thing gets to me. I mean, how can I tell the difference between a stain and blood now?

"Do you have clothes for tommorow?" She asks me as we watch. I nod, waving my hand in a so-so gesture. I can find something last minute, like I always used to. "You better not get in with that group of kids again, alright?" She questions sternly. "Try and make good friends in your last year." I roll my eyes. They were good friends- Just a bit different. 

"Ah, so you're a senior, too." Gabriel drawls, smirking. "Guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, then." Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, Luna grins.

"Stick with her, Gabriel."

"I was planning on it." He takes a piece of my lomaine, which I slap his hand for with my chopstick. Cringing dramatically, he eats it. "Totally worth it."

Luna stands, throwing her bucket into our makeshift trashcan. "Don't go to bed too late, okay?" She tells us. "Gabriel, you take the couch." He nods.

"Aye, Captain." She rolls her hazel eyes, pecking me on the cheek. 

"I'll wake you in the morning. Night, sweetie." Smiling at her, she leaves us alone. I like your face, he signs. Let's watch a movie. I laugh silently, which basically is made up of a smile and some air blowing out of my nose. 

I like movies. I sign, waiting for him to repeat it. "I like movies." He says slowly, waiting my approval. I nod, nudging him to stand with me and kneel over at the movies. His eyes widen at all the dvd's, skimming through the titles.

Hoarder. He says, pulling out Saw. "Want to watch this one?" He asks. I shake my head, swallowing hard. Want to play a game? It's too much like the suicides. It'll scare me shitless, maybe even bring back my hallucinations. I don't need to experience any more of those, that's for sure. "Aw, if you're scared, you can cuddle with me."

I roll my eyes. Suck  it up. You're eighteen. It's just a movie.

As I settle on the couch next to him, I realize how wrong I was.

*

Burying my face in his shirt, I contain the little scream in my mouth as one of Jigsaw's victims cuts off their hand to escape his trap.

My mother, slicing off my father's hand for him as he cries out loudly, my brother hiding in the next room. 

"Hey, it's okay." Gabriel mutters soothingly, running a hand through my shower-damp hair. "It's just a movie."