Invisible String - Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Twenty-Four: Dark Desires

I reached up, gently holding his face, running my thumb over his cheek. "No, you misunderstand. I know you didn't like causing me pain. But you enjoyed what it felt like for you- the power."

His eyes searched mine, flicking around desperately, as though he was searching my eyes for a sign of judgement. He wouldn't find it. No, he'd find that I was the same as I ever was when it came to him. Enthralled.

"I did."

It was a whisper, delicate and scared. He looked away, ashamed.

I let go of his hand and held his face in both of my hands, making him look into my eyes again. "I'm not mad at you," I say simply. "I could never be."

"You should be, don't you understand?"

He was pulling away from me now, taking my hands and pulling them off of his face, making me frown. How demented would it be for me to tell him that I didn't care, that I was still curious what the power of Crucio felt like. It was the only Unforgivable I'd never used successfully and that part of me that wanted to succumb to the Dark Arts craved to join him in having used them all.

He stood and paced through the stone cove, thunder still shaking our little safe space and I watched him closely. He had an air of darkness around him now, his face upset, eyes flashing dangerously. I met him halfway through a loop of his pacing and made him stop.

"Sebastian, you know I could never judge you for enjoying the power."

"I wanted to cast it again, Abbi! Right after, while you were still huddled on the ground in his bloody arms!"

"I don't care," I said, a small thrill shooting through me, my darkness purring in delight at his words. One piece of cold magic thumped painfully in my chest- that was Isadora. But my own dark magic swirling inside of my chest was flowing freely, and happily, delighted at my dangerous words.

"You would be better off running far away from me," he said breathlessly as I stood in front of him, closing the distance between us as I wrapped my arms up over his neck.

"I won't do that," I whisper, staring directly at his lips. He chewed on his bottom lip anxiously, like he was fighting something in himself. "I don't want to have you out of my life."

"Why?"

"Because I want to feel that power too," a whisper, and low admission that only Sebastian could never judge me for. "It's the only one I never used."

Sebastian seemed to have stopped breathing, his hands settling onto my waist. I felt his fingers grip me tightly, could sense the frustration at the thick school uniform as opposed to one of my less bulky outfits. It was extra distance between us neither one wanted.

Thunder clapped and lightning flashes and I waited for him to say something.

He stayed silent.

"Seb?"

Maybe I had said too much, admitted to being too dark for him. In what world would it make sense for a victim of The Cruciatus Curse to want to feel the other side? I should want absolutely nothing to do with it, as Sebastian has been trying to tell me. Instead, I just told him I wanted to cast it myself.

I probably sounded insane.

"Do you really want to know what it feels like?"

He pushed me away from him slightly and I frowned before I realized he was pushing me, not away from him, but into the very same bookshelf he had first kissed me at. My back made contact with the ancient shelf and I let out a soft grunt as his body pressed me to it. He was looking at me with very dark eyes, making my heart rate accelerate rapidly. He lowered himself to whisper in my ear, breath tickling my neck as the storm raged outside.