Invisible String - Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Thirty-Five: In the Shadow of Anguish

Sebastian's POV

"You fucking idiot!" I shouted, slamming my fists into my head over and over again as I paced through the room Abbi had just vacated. I knew instantly that I had fucked up, the second she asked me to tell her what she wanted to hear and I didn't.

How could I tell her that? How could I just bare my entire heart to her and not be afraid she'd break it?

I was the boy who showed her dark magic. The boy who tortured her. The boy who murdered his uncle. I wasn't worthy of her, no matter how badly I let myself think she would want nothing more than the messed up Slytherin boy who fell in love with everything about her.

I was nothing.

She was the world.

I couldn't pretend that giving her my heart on a silver platter didn't terrify me.

Of course I hadn't told her. Not plainly.

But I had told her, right?

In a thousand different ways I'd tried to show her what she meant to me. Reaching back out to rekindle friendship, asking her to write to Anne, following her to that Repository, willingly and excitedly following her back down the path of the Dark Arts, being by her side constantly. I'd touched her, let my lips wander (though never to hers, unfortunately) and comforted her after our shared dreams terrified her.

I'd shown her I loved her.

I thought I did.

She was the only thing that kept me together, I couldn't lose that, I couldn't lose her, and I told her that. But it wasn't enough to make her stay.

I had to find her.

I tore the room apart, searching for any indication of notes. Poppy had given her a notebook full of them, not too long ago, it had to be here somewhere. Drawers were thrown open, books thrown from shelves, pillows torn from couches searching the crevasses. Two pink garment bags hung by the entrance to the room and I cursed myself again knowing that all she'd done was go to buy a beautiful gown and I had driven her away.

"Where the bloody hell is it?" I grumbled as I tore down to her potions stations. Snatching up the potions as I rushed by, I gave in from my manual search. "Accio notebook!"

Two notebooks came zooming over to me instantly, one of brown leather, the other black. Without thinking I tucked the black one into my pocket, recognizing it instantly as the small copy of Slytherin's spell book I had given her this morning.

The brown leather one, was the one I needed. Poppy's notebook.

Her maps.

Clutching them tightly in my hand, I raced over to the Floo Flame, and didn't think twice before I shouted where I wanted to go, already knowing the mapped area like the back of my palm.

~

Leaves and twigs crunched under my boots as I sprinted through the woods surrounding Feldcroft. Explosions ripped through the air in the distance, the shudders slamming on the small hamlet homes while I raced over the hills, my wand clutched tightly in my hand as I approached the ruins of Isadora Morganach's home, that had been turned into a messy fortress.

"Someone's approaching!" I heard a voice shout, followed by the hurried scrambling of feet as poachers rounded the entrance to find me.

A scream ripped through the air as I came over the crest of the hill and my heart shattered.

She was screaming.