I've got my eye on you

VIII. A Dream of Reality

"No. Not really. Wanna watch a movie or something?" you ask, quickly grabbing the remote, not daring to look her in the eyes.

"y/n," Cordelia said with a serious tone, gently taking your wrist in her hand and taking the remote away. "You said you would talk about it with me at my house."

"No, I said I didn't want to talk about it at school and I still don't want to talk about it here. You told me to come here," you shook your head and stood up.

"Don't get upset y/n, I know something happened and I need to know you're okay."

"I told you I'm okay Cordelia. I said I don't want to talk about it get it through your skull!"

"Did he rape you?"

"NO! Oh my god- no!" you screamed. "No." Your voice depleted to a whisper as you fall to your knees and cover your face with your hands. "I can't tell you you're going to hate me," Cordelia was quick to join you, rubbing your back and shushing you. Her mind immediately raced with the possibilities of what you could've done.

"Shh no honey no. I won't hate you. How could i hate this face," she says painfully, taking your chin between her fingers.

Everything felt like it was hitting you at once. You didn't want to tell her you had sex with him when you were so in love with her.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," you managed to say in your hysterics. "I'm sorry," you cried in between sobs.

"Shh don't speak honey. You need to breathe. Don't be sorry it's okay. What ever it is my love it's alright. It's alright," she whispers.

Once you were steadily breathing, she pulled you to sit back in her lap, still sitting on her rug.

"I'm sorry Cordelia. I'm sorry I had sex with him," you sobbed as you turned over, crying into her shoulder. She was quick to hold you in her arms, despite what you said.

"It's alright my love," she sniffled. "It's alright."

"I- I didn't want to but I let him. It's my fault," you cried.

"It's not your fault y/n. It's not," she whispered as a tear fell down her cheek.

"Yes it is. I told him I wanted it," you couldn't stop sobbing. Cordelia then squeezed you a little tighter and you felt her tense up. She squeezed her eyes shut as another tear fell from her beautiful brown eyes.

"It's okay. He's much older than you y/n. He took advantage of you."

You push back and look her in the eyes, trying to breathe and be able to clearly speak.

"N-no it wasn't like that."

"Yes, y/n it was," she said, looking into your eyes as she held your arm, bringing you close to her again. "He's 18 and practically- kidnapped you from my house. He made you come with him with black mail. You were stuck."

You took shaking breaths as you looked at her with horror. She was completely right. Imagine if she knew you were under the influence.

You just nodded and looked to the side. You accepted it.

"I was fine."

"Well are you now?"

"...I- I'm just stuck Cordelia," you cried. "And- I think I like him."

"Oh y/n," you both stand up and she holds you once again. "It's okay. You're young. It's not your fault in any scenario. He is older. He is at fault."

"We aren't telling anyone about this."

"...He should be punished in some-"

"No Cordelia please. Please I don't want to talk about this anymore. Can we just... do something?"