Invisible String - Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Twenty-Three: The Cruciatus Curse

Still, I'd held that spell on her. I could have lifted it; should have lifted it immediately. There was a rush of exhilarating power that flowed through my veins and I had drunk it in. It had felt amazing to feel the power I held over to wriggling girl -

Just as it had then, the thought of her as. nothing but just some random girl ripped me from the draw of the power that had filled me. Abbi was never just a girl to me, not then, and certainly not now. She was always so much more.

"Sebastian, breathe," her silky voice murmured to me. She was pale, her freckles even having appeared lighter, and her lip was quivering.

I blinked, looking around, seeing that I was clutching my wand tightly, my knuckles white. Her face was pale, eyes flicking to Ominis and Poppy before landing back on me. I glanced forward at them, seeing Ominis laying his head in his arms on the desk, Poppy running her hand down his back soothingly while she scribbled notes for the two of them.

Abbi looked nervous as she watched me, only looking away when I released her hand and instead held her thigh again. I heard her breath catch but was happy to discover that she once again didn't pull away, but rested a hand on top of mine.

I focused hard on the words Professor Hecat was saying, anything to get the screaming out of my head.

"This curse is particularly nasty. With this curse, you will find you're only capable of feeling pain, most have said it is impossible to even think. There is no relief until the curse has been lifted."

Ominis was shaking visibly, and I swore I could hear muffled sobs escape him. He'd not only cast this as a child, on a Muggle child at that, but he'd been forced to endure its effects multiple times at the hands of his own mother and father. Though he'd never confirmed it to me outright, I was sure his siblings must have cast it on him as well.

"As for the pain the victim feels, you'll find that it feels as though more than a hundred white-hot knifes are piercing through you body at the exact same time, over and over again."

The room was silent, and while she continued to speak, all I could hear was Abbi screaming. All I could see was her writhing on the ground, her voice pleading with me to stop what I was doing to her.

I need her to stop screaming at me.

"What sets this curse apart, is that it does seem to have levels. What I mean by that, is that if someone were to attempt to cast it, and did not deep within want to cast the curse, it would not work at all. However, if the caster wants to cause pain, truly wants to cause pain, the curse will be the most effective. Simply using it in anger won't keep the curse on the victim for long."

You need to want to cause pain.

This was the fact that kept me up at night. She'd been unable to cast it, not due to a lack of powerful magic, but because when facing me at the end of her wand, she'd been unable to want to cause me pain. She'd wanted to keep me from the pain, pain I was sure Anne had been feeling every single day. When I had raised my wand upon her, I had been successful.

I shouldn't have been. All I wanted then and now is for those that I loved to be safe, and I had not only succeeded in torturing her, but had enjoyed the rush of power I'd felt. I'd wanted to use the spell, to save us, but I had also simply wanted to use it.

And she'd been willing.

That was another fact of the matter - she had been willing and I never even asked if she was okay. I thought I had, convinced myself I had comforted her, but the harder I thought about it, the more clarity came.

I could still hear the pleading. The way she'd cried my name.

"Seb, please, make it stop!"

Still I was haunted by the way Ominis had picked her up and whispered comforts to her as I just stared, shocked at the room before us, not about its existence, or that we had managed to find it. I was shell-shocked at the fact that I had found myself wanting to cast it again.

"Another thirty inches of parchment will be handed in on this curse. I would like to know what you discover about the curse that you feel sets it apart from the other two Unforgivable Curses. Please for the remainder of class continue reading the non-restricted information available in your textbooks."

"Sebastian, please!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and took in a ragged breath.

Just breathe.

Like she said.

Abbi was trembling under my hand as she reached for her textbook, setting it on the table but not opening it. Ominis still hadn't moved from his slumped position on the desk, Poppy still stroking his back comfortingly.

I couldn't sit anymore. I needed to move, to break something, to scream at myself. I needed to do anything besides sit here and act like I had any right to touch her.

How could she have ever actually forgiven me?

I looked from Abbi, still rigid, but still resting her hand on top of mine, to the door of the classroom, and without a word, stood and walked out of the class, her echoing screams still ringing loudly between my ears, her confused voice calling after me as my cloak whipped around the corner and out of sight.