✅ A Dose of Humiliation

85. Point of No Return

"I was just passing," Serena said. "I saw your dad bringing you up here, and I knew something was going wrong. Why didn't he take you to the other place? He said he was going to. I thought maybe I could ask you what's going on before he gets his hands on you, but it looks like he's done the samples already."

"Yeah," I said, looking at the vials full of my blood and saliva on the desk. "He refused to hand over my records, Dad said. And the other pharmacist can't do it without them. I figured sure, we could sue him. But that won't get me that clear afternoon I need to get my debate certificate. There's not enough time, so may as well go through with it then see him later."

"You think you can go through this without any violence?" she asked. "I was half expecting you to lose control, I had no idea Eli was going to show up like that. But that must have been satisfying."

"Yeah. I kind of wish it had been me. And I'll admit, it's a constant struggle not to break something. But Elspeth needs help now, she's the one in trouble. I'm okay."

"You sure?" Serena asked, and then patted my shoulder for what comfort that could give. I could see the admiration in her eyes; going through such tough things to make sure I still had a future. And I knew I was doing something hard, but when a friend recognised that it made it seem more real to me. It was a little reassuring, and it gave me confidence that I would be able to get through this. Even if it was really hard to clear my mind of all the more colourful ideas for how I could take revenge on Becker.

She went through to the front of the shop again, to join the hubbub. I hoped she would be able to sort something out, like getting Alyn on the scene to keep Elspeth out of police custody today. But I also knew that I couldn't do anything to help, and it was crowded enough through there. Nothing would be helped if I took a swing at the pharmacist too, no matter how satisfying it might be. So I occupied myself looking around the little back room, and visualising all the terrible things that would happen if I helped myself to any of the things on the shelves. The voice on Anti-Lorna in the back of my head kept on telling me that I should do it anyway, but I knew I had to resist.

I tested the limits of my restraints, and found that it was just about possible to slip my hands out of the cuffs now they weren't so tightly bound. But I was sure to get in trouble if anybody noticed; so I found another couple of cable ties and threaded then through the holes. When somebody came back in I could bite the end of the cable tie and pull my hands away to draw them tight again, meaning nobody would know about my moments of freedom.

I cringed putting the remaining cable ties back into the desk tidy. I had to be extra careful to avoid touching any of the gross, chewed up pens that were apparently the victims of the pharmacist's oral fixation. I looked around the other things in the room as well; desperately trying to resist the urge to break something just so I could cost Becker money. That would be stupid, but no matter how many times I reminded myself, the idea just kept nagging at me. I looked at the drug boxes again and again; there was nothing I would be able to take with me, I was sure. But I couldn't stop looking; about the only things I didn't prod or look closely at were the things on Becker's desk, now standing in a small pool of blood. Elspeth had done well. Eventually, I refastened my handcuffs so that I wouldn't be tempted to do something stupid.

Ten minutes later, the tone of the conversation in the main part of the shop seemed to have shifted. Becker sounded increasingly disgruntled, which I took as a sign that my friend wasn't actually being arrested. But then I heard the sound of the other door being opened, and a couple of words were clear through the chaos.

"It's all because of your daughter," Becker snapped. "That little slut ruins everything she touches. No wonder all her friends are turning into thugs." It was a little thing, but it made me mad. And I knew that I had to hurt Becker, no matter how stupid it was.

Everybody came running when they heard the sound of breaking glass. They found me still sitting there, laughing in the uncomfortable plastic chair. The sample vials – including all of the clean ones from the tray – had been reduced to a pile of shards spread across the floor, and it looked like my blood samples were lost.

"Oh dear," I said. "Haven't you got any more of those little vials?"

"I'll have to bill you for all of these," Becker snarled. "But it looks like you might have escaped... Oh no, what do we have here?" The grin on his face was wider than any cheshire cat's smile now. The smile was slightly distorted by the injury to his nose, but it didn't look like he was hurting too badly now he'd managed to clean up a little. He bent over slowly, steadying himself on the corner of the desk so he didn't risk touching the shards of glass on the floor. And from the middle of the pile of broken glassware, he pulled out one sample vial that seemed to be intact.

"A full one has more structural integrity," he said, as he wiped the blood from the outside of the glass. "And this little baby doesn't even seem to be cracked. All the samples we need. But you will, of course, have to pay for the damage to my business." He picked up the labels with my name and ID number on from the desk, and carefully stuck each one onto the sample container in the right place, before wrapping it up in its padded box for transmission back to the HumiliX labs. I could only watch now, there was nothing else I could do.

I still didn't know whether it would be better to suffer the indignity of a second shot and then go to university, or to hide in my room until I could get the antidote. But the choice was no longer mine. I could only wait, and hope that all the decisions I'd made had been the right ones. Most importantly, my my ever-wavering certainty as I tried to choose between seeing Becker suffer, seeking justice and fairness, protecting myself, and not letting my family be blamed. Was there somewhere I could have chosen differently? I couldn't be sure. But now, the only thing I could do was wait and see.

Dad dragged me out of there with a hand firmly around my arm. Todd was outside the pharmacy sneering, telling me that after all my smart talking would end on Thursday. I took that to mean he'd asked his dad to give me the one for the speech impediment; which I guessed wasn't such a bad thing. At least I already knew that my friends could work around it, like they had for Marcie. It would make debating harder if it kicked in too soon, but they had to make allowances for speech impediments, didn't they?

I gave him the sweetest smile I could force, until Dad's relentless pace took us past him, and then I just called back over my shoulder "Wait and see!"