Between the Lines

The True Nature of Chaos

   "No," he muttered, rubbing his hands together as he glanced my way. "But it does disappoint me."

    "Have I ever not disappointed you, Brother?"

    "Many times... Most notably when you agreed to stand beside me on my suicidal trip to the Jotunheim before you attempted to destroy it."

    I cocked an eyebrow, sitting across from him then. "You do realize that that trip was entirely my idea?"

    "Yes, and I did then as well. You are not as clever as you think yourself to be. And that is the trouble with you."

    "Go on."

    "You think this is all a silly game for power, a right to a title you so justly deserve over me- over everyone. Perhaps you are right, perhaps you would be a greater king than the world has ever known, and I hope I get to see that day, truly. Yet I wish for you to earn it on your own, just as Eibhlin does." I flinched at the mention of her name. How did he know this to be true? "She was willing to accept the Aether... to sacrifice herself, not for Father, not for me or Jane, but for the good of Asgard."

    My mouth hung open as I tried to find the right words. "What?"

    Thor nodded. "She kept this from you too then? Strange how she would attempt to spare everyone's feelings including her own in such a selfless and giving way when you claim that she is so like you, so unworthy of consideration from anyone but you, Brother."

    "I never said-"

    "Eibhlin, who would have lain her life down three times over now to protect Asgard is more worthy of a throne than you ever will be!" He spat the words like venom at my feet. Of course, I knew this though; I knew that she was worthy... I just hoped that by trying to be as good as her, to love her despite how broken and hopeless so many believed me to be, I, too, would be deemed worthy. "She is a wonderfully spirited woman, one that you do not deserve, and yet she cares for you in ways I will never comprehend despite all that you have done. She forgives you even when you cannot forgive yourself... Perhaps it is because she sees what you have attempted to hide from her and others for so long..."

    I hesitated, sighing heavily as I adjusted our course once more. "That has not saved her from the All-Father's Ire... If anything, it has only warranted her more of his rage."

    Thor grimly nodded, his hands folded together, forearms resting on his knees. "No, no it has not. I wish I had answers for why Father detests her so when she has done nothing close to all that you have," he admitted with a heavy sigh. "I do know that despite what you may think, I would have never allowed him to place the Aether within her to save Jane."

    "And why should I believe you when you would concoct such a ridiculous and clandestine scheme to not only free me but remove her," I said tilting my head toward his sleeping mortal; "from the All-Father's hold? You said it yourself; surrender is not in your nature."

    "No more than it is in yours, hers, or Eibhlin's," A small smirk came upon his face as he picked at his cuticles. "I would not be surprised if she was working to find her way back to you now."

    "Unlikely," I muttered, lifting my fingers to touch the lock of her hair braided into mine. Mere hours ago, I had thought her dead and it had felt as though my world was ending. A world that had Thor, and Heimdall, Hlíf, Mother, and yes, even Fandral's pompous ass, had all worked hard to keep alive when I hadn't been able to. "Thank you... For protecting her when I could not." It was simple, the least I could say on the subject, yet I hoped the quiver in my voice said everything I couldn't.

    Thor smiled, adding a third blanket over his beloved as he nodded. "You need not thank me for that. I know you would do the same."

    "Do you?" Would I, I wondered... It seemed like a reasonable response as I did want him to be happy, just not at my expense. A comfortably familiar silence washed over us then as we held one another's gaze for a moment, smiling gently as we internally acknowledged that yes, I would do the same.

    Leaning back, I sighed. Watching Thor and his mortal love together made my heart ache for Eibhlin. As dismal and traumatic as it had been for both of us, I almost longed to return to the dungeons where I could at least hold her, hear her voice, and see her smile each day. It had been all I had wanted for the longest time, to open my eyes and be beside her; to stretch out my hand and touch the soft, yielding warmth of her freckled flesh. If the dungeons had gifted me anything though, it had been the secret of distance and time; the knowledge that being close to her had never been about proximity.

    "Hello," her voice whispered, her hair tickling my neck as I tilted my head back, grinning.

    She came to rest in my lap, my hands having guided her down; remaining on her waist as I held her tighter than I ever had. She still smelled of flowers and sage with the faintest hint of vanilla; it was a scent I would never tire of, one that would forever soothe my soul.

    "I told you she'd find her way back to you," Thor smirked as Eibhlin nuzzled her nose against my throat, her soft ears twitching beneath her braids.

    "Yes well, she's probably been standing there this entire conversation," I muttered, forcing her away so I could look at her beautiful face while Thor confirmed that it had been at least the last ten minutes. I met her eyes, studying her closely and letting her know that in no uncertain manner was she to lie to me. "Is it true then? Did you truly agree to go along with Odin's plan to accept the Aether?"

    She nodded, slowly; her lip quivering as she bit it to hide it from my watchful eyes. "I saw no other way..."

    I felt the rage creep over me once more. The thought that she had felt there was no other way to save herself, Jane, Thor- all of us! It gave birth to a rage unlike any other I had felt. "You know how you said you wished you could trust me as brothers should? Trust my rage."