Between the Lines

An Unspoken Attraction (TW)

**Please note, this chapter will feature non-graphic discussion of memories depicting domestic abuse, rape, abortion and suicide which may be upsetting for some readers. Please proceed with caution and skip the chapter if necessary. Your mental wellbeing will always come first**

          Two nights passed, sleepless and filled with the sounds of Eibhlin's screams. I had watched the guards change shifts as a means of telling how much time had passed, a trick I had learned during my time on the Dark Aster. Odin had come down with some of the alchemists and mages to imbue the dungeon walls with stronger magic, though not strong enough, it seemed to keep Mother away.

   The glow of her Seiðr from Eibhlin's cell was almost a nightly comfort; the warm green color with shimmers of gold and blue was something I waited to see each night while I sat on the ledge of the window, as close as I dared get to the enchantments. Every night when I saw the soft glow illuminate the darkened cell, I looked at the worn leather book. I thought about opening it, of trying again as Mother had urged yet I was afraid to know. What if she was wrong, what if I was wrong... Worse yet, what if Sif had been right four years ago when she'd said that love wasn't a waste and that I wouldn't see or accept it until I too was forced to love someone from afar... Little did she or anyone else know that I had already been doing that for roughly forty years.

   As the third night settled in, I moved to sit once more at my breakfast table to wait for Mother's Seiðr to shine from Eibhlin's cell. Instead, I was greeted by her voice.

   "Hello, dear boy." I rose, maintaining my composure as best I could as I moved swiftly to embrace her. I knew my arms would go right through her, but it was the closest I would get to holding her, and for now... For now, it was enough. When my arms didn't go through her, I felt her hand come to rest on the back of my head. "Oh, sweetheart..."

   "You need to teach me how to project illusions such as this..."

   "I have gifted you books to help you learn. I saw you need such."

   I smirked, nodding. "Of course, you did." Pulling back slightly, I kept my hands on her slender shoulders. "Why have you graced me with your presence instead of Eibhlin tonight?"

   "Your sister is not the only one who is in need of a mother's love at this moment. Nor is she the only one I worry after." She patted my cheek and I was immediately returned to a moment in my childhood where Odin had allowed Thor to hold Gungnir while I had once again been banished to my room for the day; for what I could not remember, though I didn't doubt that it was as inane as the punishment itself. Mother had come to check on me. Having found me longingly looking out into the gardens at the display of affection from Odin I would never receive, she had plucked a daffodil from a vase on one of the nightstands and turned it into a frog. "You look tired, my son."

   "Do I? Uh, I guess I am a little, yeah..."

   "Still worrying about your sister-"

   "Please don't!... Don't call her that..."

   She hummed softly, once more cupping my face in her hands. "Are we finally done fighting it?"

   I sighed, I didn't know how to explain that in some ways I was done fighting it, yet in others I still couldn't accept that I was deserving of her; that I somehow wouldn't damage her too if I allowed myself to admit my feelings. "Maybe... I don't know. I just know that it... Feels wrong to have her referred to as my sister when how I feel toward her is... very unbrotherly."

   Her soft laugh made me smile against my will. "Have you tried the book?"

   Shaking my head, I moved and lifted it carefully. "I... I've been-"