Between the Lines

An Unspoken Attraction (TW)

   "Trust me, it will work. There is no reason to be so afraid."

   "You say that like it's easy..."

   "Nothing is ever easy, love in particular is not. But it is worth it."

   "Is it? I wouldn't know... I've never received any before." Her icy eyes stared daggers into me then and I cleared my throat, quickly setting the book back down. "What do I even say? 'Hello Eibhlin, I've been in love with you for nearly forty years now but it took my being locked away and tortured for two years to realize it'? Because that's positively romantic. Probably should have mentioned it before we were separated for the rest of eternity, though."

   Mother was unamused as she scolded me further. "Say what you feel, clearly and succinctly. There's no need to beat around the bush in an attempt to win her over with subtle hints any more than there is a need to pontificate. She knows you; she loves you. Just tell her you love her back." My hesitation was the opening she needed as she took my hand. "I need your permission to share something with you."

   It took me a moment to understand, but when I did, I couldn't help but feel uncertain. "Mother if this has to do with Eibhlin's past-"

   "No. That is something she must tell you more on her own, though I am surprised she has not. You've never admitted how much you know, have you?" I shook my head as she sighed. "You two truly are perfectly matched... Close your eyes."

   I scowled but obeyed. I could feel the warmth of her Seiðr penetrate my mind, instantly filling it with memories she'd held close during the nearly two years I had been missing. I saw Eibhlin lying at the edge of the rainbow bridge a few feet from Heimdall as he urged her to eat, simultaneously holding her back from jumping at least several times. I watched as she sat beside Thor in the east tower, inconsolable as she beat bitterly against his chest whilst blaming herself and crying out that it should have been her instead. Eibhlin bitterly reminding others of my name long after many had moved on; how she had slept each night in one of my tunics. I listened as she had told Thor that she tried harder with spear and dagger not because they felt the most natural of all the weapons he had offered her thus far, but because they had been mine and she wanted to honor me. There was so much more yet the most gripping images she showed me came last.

   Eibhlin sat at the edge of the pier just as she had back in nineteen hundred and ninety-nine, only this time the floral garland and candle lay at her feet instead of floating off into the water as she sobbed. She wore a deep brown almost black dress, a mourning gown; she looked just as I had remembered her during my time on the Dark Aster. Still a girl right on the edge of full womanhood in her two-hundred and-twentieth year. I saw Hlíf come close to her, wrapping her arms around the girl as Eibhlin fell against her.

   "I loved him, Hlíf... I loved him so much..." My heart broke hearing her words... She had loved me... But did she still?

   The image changed a final time. Mother sat holding Eibhlin, now much closer to the young woman who had come to save me from myself. I listened as Mother told her that she hoped she knew that there would be nothing better for her as our Mother than to see me loved by someone who could understand me unlike any other.

   "Is it wrong that I wanted to move on... to forget," I heard her ask, my heart skipping a beat with dread.

   "All will be well, he will come back to us, to you..."

   Mother exited my head then, leaving me with that comment as I shook my head as her Seiðr left me. I took a step back, staring at her as the illusion wavered. She was growing tired, I had to be careful and ask my questions quickly. I knew she had shown me this as proof of Eibhlin's love for me, yet it felt more like that of Thor's comment about how they had all mourned for me. They had thought me dead... That was why Heimdall had not answered me; there had not been a reason to seek out a dead man.